After all my anticipation over the season 2 premiere of Game of Thrones last night, would you believe I recorded the non-HD version by accident? I know, I know: firstiest first world problem ever, but I still bellowed the Darth Vader NOOOOOOOO as soon as the opening sequence started and all those extruding buildings and gears looked a more like The Simpsons spoof than the lovely CG models they actually are.
Of course, I didn't let a little lack of high definition stop me from enjoying the show, and as far as premieres go, this one was a doozy. From the visual continuity of the red comet trail streaking across the sky to the universal theme of power, I thought the directors did an amazing job of linking together the multitude of storylines and characters in last night's episode.
While I totally enjoyed the premiere from start to finish, there were a handful of scenes that jumped out at me. Let's discuss!
(Warning: spoilers ahead. I mean, obviously.)
Robb Stark confronting Jamie. How satisfying was it to see Smugface Lannister all filthy in a cage, being dragged around Westeros by Robb Stark? Jamie's down, but not quite out: the fact that he hasn't quite had the starch taken out of him yet led to a deeply enjoyable snark-exchange when Robb told him he knew all about the, you know, sister-loving. Jamie: "You have proof? Or do you want to trade gossip like a couple of fishwives?”
And then, boom! DIREWOLF VISION. Oh snap, Jamie! GIANT WOLF ALL UP IN YOUR SHIT YEAH YOU BETTER FLINCH.
Cersei vs. Littlefinger. Speaking of smug, Littlefinger sure got that Mona Lisa smile wiped off his face last night, didn't he? He tried to play the twincest card against Cersei with the snide declaration that "Knowledge is power," but Cersei was like, bitch, this isn't G.I. Joe. First she commanded the guards to kill him, then she was all, "Oh, I changed her mind, how about you do the hokey-pokey instead?" And while the guards were dutifully putting their left foot in and shaking it all about, she reminded the shaken Littlefinger that "Power is power." Good thing you wore your brown robe, Littlefinger! Hope one of your whores can let you borrow a Wet Wipe!
Tyrion's best line of the show. To Cersei: "You love your children, it's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones." Who's got top billing this season? Peter Dinklage, that's who. For being RELENTLESSLY AWESOME.
The death of (almost all) the bastards. The scenes of the City Watch murdering King Robert's bastard children on Joffrey's orders were nearly unwatchable, starting with the brothel baby being silenced by a blade. Horrible. Brutal. Shocking. Also: totally provided that inevitable OMG moment we love about the show.
Cersei slapping Joffrey. Last but not least, the most glorious sound on television last night: the crack! of Cersei's palm colliding with Joffrey's monstrous little face. Of course, he eventually regained his composure and reminded Incest Mom that "What you just did is punishable by death. You will never do it again. Never," and Cersei's expression was like OH NO HE'S NO LONGER A MALLEABLE PUPPET ALTHOUGH GOSH MAYBE EDDARD'S BEHEADING SHOULD HAVE TIPPED ME OFF, but still. God, I just really love seeing Joffrey get slapped. In fact, I wish there was a whole episode dedicated to it, involving each character lining up like that scene in Airplane! and hitting him, one after another. I guess I'll just have to make do with this great YouTube video from season one:
What was your favorite scene from last night's Game of Thrones?
Image via HBO