Boy, it says a lot about how far we've come as a nation when you consider how reports of Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" consumed the media after the 2004 Super Bowl, and yet Jennifer Lopez's maybe/maybe-not nip slip during the Oscars has been tolerated with barely a single reaction. Finally, we've stopped showering body-part-exposing stars with the attention they so clearly—
Ha. Not. As this nipple-weary entertainment writer knows all too well, JLo's left breast has become the titular (zing!) head of celebrity news during the last few days, even spawning a Twitter account titled @JLOsNipple that pulled in 3,000 followers in 24 hours (who are all probably greatly disappointed in the lack of TwitPics).
Lopez has denied her Oscars hooter-howdy, but on last night's American Idol, Steven Tyler ruthlessly mocked the incident—and with all due respect to those who might call it bullying, it was pretty goddamned funny.
I'm sure the whole bit was premeditated, but let's just pretend it was a spur-of-the-moment joke which involved Steven Tyler mimicking JLo's cut-out plunging-neckline Academy Awards gown by saying, "Who am I?" as he faked a sneeze and ripped open his shirt to reveal his own naked left nipple.
Lopez pretended to be embarrassed, saying, “I don’t even know what to say to that!" Randy Jackson, who can always be counted on to add something meaningful, reminded everyone that “it’s a family show."
The best part is how Seacrest then informed the camera, “I think that was an Oscar reenactment, ladies and gentlemen." ORLY?
If you can endure the sight of yet another areola, here's the video of the moment:
Like I said, this certainly has the feel of a skit they rehearsed ahead of time, but it's pretty funny nonetheless. With so much buzz around JLo's Nipplegate, it adds to the entertainment factor of Idol for them to address it. Now, frankly I could have done without such a detailed view of Tyler's freaky waxed chest, but I love that she took a little crap for her wardrobe choice on national television.
Before the show cut to commercial, Lopez yelled, “There was no nipple!”
BUT WAS THERE? Ah, who the hell knows. I thought I saw nipple when she was up on stage with Cameron Diaz, but it could have been a shadow. JLo's stylist, Mariel Haenn, tweeted a denial about the supposed slip, saying:
@JLo’s dress did give illusion! jokes on every1 who thought they saw something! The Oscar dress was custom made for @JLo by Zuhair Murad. The dress fit perfectly to her every inch. There were cups built in …and in NO chance that there were any, how do you say? @JLo ‘slips’ :)
So maybe there was and maybe there wasn't. I'm thinking that if you're going to wear something that revealing, the entire point is to get people looking for a nipple, so either way: JLo wins.
Do you think Steven Tyler was mean for teasing JLo on American Idol?
Image via FOX