I knew Slade Smiley's standup comedy routine on tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County was going to be uncomfortable to watch, but it was downright painful. He is one of the least funny people I've ever seen grace a stage, and when he realized that, he just got mean and viciously went after the other Housewives with some cheap shots that still weren't even funny.
He should have listened to his mother, who actually is funny. When he was practicing for his routine, she said bluntly and accurately, "The dogs are really more entertaining than you are." I also loved when he brought up the subject of proposing to Gretchen and how she initially said, "noooo," then acquiesced saying well maybe so, since Gretchen had stopped calling him "Tubba Wubba" and all.
But back to that disaster of a "comedy" routine ...
Gretchen Rossi actually started things out with a thud. When things like "Have you heard of Facebook?" were met with crickets, she just stripped down to a bikini and pranced around. The first "real" comedian who followed Gretchen said, “What the f*&% was that?” My thoughts exactly.
Then came Slade. Flop. Fail. Freaking awful.
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His "Housewife Hunter" act, complete with pelvic thrusts, was as inane as Alexis Bellino is in general. She was, I believe, the only person in the entire packed club who emitted even a chuckle of laughter that wasn't at Slade's expense. "When I see some big sexy blonde, I draw my little weapon and go, 'Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!'" he yelled as he thrust about on beat. Did I mention it was painful?
Then he brought out his big mean guns and started picking off the other Housewives. Calling them out by name and projecting extremely unflattering pictures of them, he compared Vicki Gunvalson to Miss Piggy. Of Tamra Barney -- who notably would only eat a chicken breast at a fondue restaurant earlier in the show -- he said: "BF Goodrich sent out a press release saying Tamra Barney is replacing the Michelin Man."
And there went Gretchen's new BFF status with Tamra, because, of course, they're going to find out what he said about them. Gretchen put up some resistance to him bringing them into his act initially, but in the end, left it up to him. After the fact, as she grew more nervous, she got really angry at him for doing it.
To be fair, Vicki and Tamra haven't been exactly kind to Slade, so I can see why he felt no regret in going after them. However, doing so in this manner -- with such low blows and tasteless and humorless jokes -- just makes him look slimier than ever.
Did you think Slade was out of line with his humor? Did you think he was funny at all?
Image via Bravo