I had high hopes for this season of Dancing With the Stars. The casting rumors that swirled were full of promise -- Tim Tebow, Tori Spelling, Giuliana Rancic. So many possibilities, so much anticipation for an incredible season.
Then this morning it was time for the big reveal. Brooke Burke Charvet and Tom Bergeron went on Good Morning America and dashed all of those dreams with the official big disappointment of a lineup. One after one as the names were read, I said huh? and waited for the next one to be more exciting, but on and on they went with nary a big name I'm dying to see dance.
From stars of Real Housewives to The Bachelor to, hello, a Kardashian, they just missed so many good choices. Instead, here's who we got. Get your Google search engine ready ... you're going to need it to find out who they are and/or what they've been up to anytime in recent memory. Hot young stars, they are not.
1. Jack Wagner, star of Melrose Place (pro partner: Anna Trebunskaya): Handsome guy, but not a reason to tune in.
2. Donald Driver, Green Bay Packers football hotshot (pro partner: Peta Murgatroyd): Where's Tim Tebow?
3. Melissa Gilbert, star of Little House on the Prairie (pro partner: Maksim Chmerkovskiy): A lovely lady, but unless she's going to dance battle Nellie Oleson, I can't say I find her all that fascinating.
4. William Levy, telenovela star (pro partner: Cheryl Burke): Who?
5. Sherri Shepherd, co-host of The View (pro partner: Valentin Chmerkovskiy): Not a fan.
6. Katherine Jenkins, opera performer (pro partner: Mark Ballas): Again, who?
7. Gavin DeGraw, singer (pro partner: Karina Smirnoff): Cute, but snore.
8. Martina Navratilova, tennis great (pro partner: Tony Dovolani): The only one I'm actually excited to see dance.
9. Roshon Fegan, Disney star (pro partner: Chelsie Hightower): I should not have to Google this many names when looking at a casting list for DWTS.
10. Maria Menounos, TV host (pro partner: Derek Hough): She will at least be fun.
11. Jaleel White, Urkel on Family Matters (pro partner: Kym Johnson): Really? I think Pee Wee Herman would have been more entertaining.
12. Gladys Knight, music legend (pro partner: (pro partner: Tristan MacManus): I'd rather see her sing.
I hate to be a downer, and some, like my friend Sasha, are excited about this season, but I just can't get there yet. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, but right now I feel like I want to turn in my dance card.
Are you excited about the cast of Season 14 of Dancing With the Stars?
Image via ABC