pat sajakWould you like to buy a vowel? Sure, Pat, I'll take an "O" for "on the rocks, no salt." Yes, the puzzle of Pat Sajak's career as a game show host has at last been solved: He and letter-twirler Vanna White were pretty much completely wasted during those early Wheel of Fortune episodes.

Well, obviously. There's no way any sober individual could pull off a gig like that!

"Hey, you want to host a glitzy daytime TV show rewarding contestants with a minimal understanding of the alphabet by allowing their detached heads to float over a showcase of tacky '80s merchandise?"

Yeah, make mine a double.

Sajak says he and White had a little pre-taping tradition back when the Wheel was in its heyday: Hitting up a Mexican joint near the studio for a few margaritas. (Like, maybe ... six margaritas, but who's counting? After the third or fourth, I mean?)

Perhaps it's been a while since you've seen a Wheel of Fortune episode from, say, 1984. If that's the case, I encourage you to watch this clip. Nay, I implore you. Observe Pat Sajak's questionable balance. ("My mind is turning to mayonnaise!" No doubt, dude.) Notice Vanna White's glassy-eyed stare and vague gestures. (Uh, whatcha pointin' at there, sweetheart?)

But most of all, make a careful study of the contestants. More specifically, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT FREAKIN' HAIR?

It's enough to drive a person to drink ...

Do you think Pat Sajak and Vanna White look a little toasty in this Wheel of Fortune clip?

 

Image via super84evr/YouTube