Leah Messer's Miscarriage Should Make Us Rethink 'Teen Mom' Bashing

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Leah Messer Teen MomThis week's Teen Mom 2 episode may rank right up there in the list of craziest reality TV moments, but it's time to retract your claws, folks. It's been confirmed by OK! that Leah Messer, divorced mom to twin girls Aleeah and Aliannah, has suffered a miscarriage. That's a tough row to hoe for any woman, least of all a teenage girl doing it in front of a world that has had plenty to say about her pregnancy to begin with.

So let's make this one clear: the pregnancy issue is over and done with. It isn't time to gloat. It isn't time to smack this one over the kid's head. It's time to give her a little space and let her grieve. Because as boyfriend Jeremy Calvert told OK!, he and Messer are going through a "devastating experience."

More on Teen Mom: Leah Messer Denies Twins But Reveals Truth

Of course it is! It's a miscarriage. Those are never easy ... not for married women in their 30s, not for a teenage girl and her boyfriend.

Even as I type the words, I recognize the irony. When rumors first began leaking about Messer and Calvert expecting a child together, I went straight for the "what the hell is she thinking" line. When her tweets added up to confirmation, I didn't stop the judging. She is a celebrity who put herself in the public eye specifically as an example of teenage motherhood. In essence, Messer OK'd commentary on her parenting skills when she took the money from MTV.

And yet, there's commentary from the public and there's delighting in the fact that a public figure has fallen on hard times, and we get to see it all go down. One has the potential to push society forward, to allow us to learn from the mistakes of one in the spotlight. The other has no redeeming value whatsoever.

More on Teen Mom: Leah Messer Wants to Be the Next Kate Gosselin

There's just one way to benefit society with talk of Leah's miscarriage: to treat the public figure as we should the private ones. Pregnancy loss remains a taboo subject in a society where as much as 15 to 20 percent of women lose a child to miscarriage because people are afraid to talk about it. They don't know HOW to treat a woman as she goes through this tough time. But all it takes is respect for the grieving process, and we can show that to Leah, can't we?

Have you been through a miscarriage? What was the best thing someone did to help you get through?

 

Image via MTV

teen mom, 16 & pregnant

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NBean311 NBean311

My heart goes out to Leah and her family. In my opinion, yes sometimes she seems like a wreck, but who doesn't? This girl is a good mom, she makes the best of her circumstances. If she wanted another baby, who are we to judge her? I applaud her for doing her best. That is all you can ask of any mother, and it's different for everyone.



And if you are gonna correct me our argue with me, save it... Like I mentored

NBean311 NBean311

My heart goes out to Leah and her family. In my opinion, yes sometimes she seems like a wreck, but who doesn't? This girl is a good mom, she makes the best of her circumstances. If she wanted another baby, who are we to judge her? I applaud her for doing her best. That is all you can ask of any mother, and it's different for everyone.



And if you are gonna correct me our argue with me, save it... Like I mentioned, just my opinion.

hotro... hotrodmom86

Praying for her & her family at this time.....She is my Favorite Teen Mom on Teen Mom 2 i love them all but she is my Fav....   I hate the she had people bashing her like that we shouldn't judge bc God don't Judge us for what we do...

nonmember avatar maddie's mommy

I suffered a miscarriage in 2007. I was 26 years old and it was the most devastating thing I've ever been through. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make it better. You just need space and time to grieve with your SOS. I feel so bad for Leah. I hope they get through this ok.

nonmember avatar Tammy Bessler

Leah's miscarriage is devastating. She should grieve on her own. She tries to do everything for her kids and she knows what she's doing. I feel bad for her at this time but the public doesn't need to know about all of what;s going on in her life.

nonmember avatar Amanda

I have had a miscarriage and yes it was rough. People made it better by not letting me spend nights alone. and even when I did go on to become a mom my child died 40 days after birth due to a health problem. Leah my heart goes out to you and i hope you can just get everyone to shut up and heal emotionally, verbally and physically all that matters right now is your health and your little girls.

nonmember avatar heather

Leah does need space and time to grieve right now. I stupidly got pregnant right before I turned seventeen..mind u I am almost twenty one now...& it completely ripped my life apart...there is not a day that goes by I don't think of my little angel....I have never been so lost and felt so much hurt in my entire life...especially wanting the child..accident or not.

nonmember avatar Elizabeth

I completely understand what they are going through I had my misscarriage last Feb. & i still cannot get over the simple fact that my baby will not be wit me. The best way someone helped me get through mine was just to have someone there with me through every step of the way. It feels good knowing you have someone there supporting you when times are bad & believe me it hurts & I still hurt. I do believe you will become stronger & you are a great mother & everything will be fine.

Brook... Brookesmom2012

im 20 and pregnant say what u will i had miscarraige scare a week ago turns out the nurse had a bad day or something Cruel ik it was traumatizing!!!

LoriA... LoriAnn87

my heart goes out to her. i had a mc at 8 weeks with my second child. me and my husband were so excited to be having another one after trying for about a year but then our joy turn into sadness. it has been almost a 1 12/year since my mc and i'm still sad and we have started trying again a month after our mc but so far nothing but we are keeping postive that one day we will have another one again. i don't care how old you losing a child is a very hard thing and so people should show compassion instead of bashing.

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