I'm not really a big fan of reality shows that bank on quasi celebrities for viewership (until someone greenlights my awesome reality pitch, So You Think You Can Knife Fight a Washed-Up D-Lister, that is), but I have to say, this season's cast lineup on Celebrity Apprentice is a twisted bit of marketing genius. 

In the fifth installment of the series, producers clearly went all out in their efforts to pull together an eyebrow-raising collection of semi-recognizable names ... and the results are pretty interesting. Like, interesting enough that I'm actually considering setting my TiVo to start recording the damn thing on February 12.

The 2012 Celebrity Apprentice cast was officially revealed today, with glowing praise from Donald Trump:

I just think we have a major group of celebrities, and we have a very iconic group. This is the best cast we've ever had, the biggest cast, and it's going to be special.

Here's the cast rundown:

Clay Aiken. Ah yes, the American Idol guy with the rabid fandom that calls itself "Clay Nation." One thing's for certain: at some point, Clay will sing.

Michael Andretti. As in the former IndyCar champion and current team owner. What's the over/under on hearing at least one metaphor from him on how racing is just like business?

Teresa Giudice. Will the Real Housewives of New Jersey star flip a table? WILL SHE?

Victoria Gotti. Will the mob-daughter-turned-reality-star get a huge dramatic catfight with Teresa Giudice? WILL SHE?

Lisa Lampanelli. Apparently this comedienne is known for her raunchy humor, which, according to Wikipedia, "frequently includes taboo subjects such as race and homosexuality." Hmm, intriguing choice, given some of her fellow castmembers.

Dayana Mendoza. A former Miss Universe model who once weathered a nude scandal. Yawn.

Dee Snider. Onetime frontman of Twisted Sister, appeared in a reality show called Growing Up Twisted, still has a big gnarly ponytail.

Paul Teutul, Sr. One of the co-founders of Orange County Choppers, which makes custom motorcycles. Will almost certainly mention the importance of pleasing the customer.

Arsenio Hall. Talk show host/comedian responsible for that obnoxious "Whoo, whoo, whoo!" hand-pump thing during the '80s.

Adam Carolla. Radio host and overall douchebag who nevertheless impressed me with his offensive, over-the-top, and not entirely untrue rant against the Occupy Movement.

Lou Ferrigno. Incredible Hulk actor. Can absolutely be counted on to say, "You won't like me when I'm angry."

Penn Jillette. Magician and comedian who is awesome and smart, despite the fact that he named his children Moxie CrimeFighter and Zolten Penn.

George Takei. Is there anyone who doesn't love George Takei, best known for his role on Star Trek but currently kicking ass for gay rights? I mean, have you seen this video?



Cheryl Tiegs. She's four decades older than Dayana Mendoza, but who will outlast in the battle of the supermodels? DUN DUN DUNNNN.

Debbie Gibson. Teen '80s pop star, current gay icon.

Tia Carrere. Actress, model, singer, someone I know nothing about other than she was the hot chick in True Lies.

Aubrey O'Day. Singer, Making the Band reality star, reportedly bisexual.

Patricia Velásquez. Hot Venezuelan model. Previously in a relationship with comedienne Sandra Bernhard. 

Are you sensing a ... theme, here, with this season's cast? I'm not sure if Trump is looking to boost his gay cred or what, but this is certainly quite the mix. Sexuality aside, most of the names on this list seem like great choices for this type of show, and I'm betting this season will earn some fairly impressive ratings.

What do you think of the cast for this season of Celebrity Apprentice? Do you think you'll tune in?


Image via NBC