For a long time, I believed Matt Damon could do no wrong. He managed to make those Bourne movies watchable despite the obnoxious, migraine-inducing way the filmmakers shot every action scene. He was hilarious as the slurry bitten-tongue'd LaBoeuf in True Grit. He even rocked the voice of Kôichi in the English version of Ponyo.
Still, I have to say that I have grave concerns about We Bought a Zoo. Mostly because, you know, it's called We Bought a Zoo, but also because of Matt Damon's recent media appearances to promote the film.
I was okay with the "Sexiest Family Man Alive" honor from Parade. I was a little uncomfortable with the nipple-hugging-henley-shirt GQ photo shoot, but he looked uncomfortable too so I cut him some slack.
However, I am officially drawing the line at Matt Damon in a Christmas sweater.
Damon made a Today show appearance on December 14, and while he's clearly a hell of a good sport, the sight of him wearing a retina-searingly hideous holiday sweater may have permanently damaged his hotness quotient. Apparently the morning show featured an “Ugly Christmas Sweater” segment, and the godawful cardiganlike thing he wore was surely the blue-ribbon winner of the bunch.
I don't know if you've seen this ugly Christmas sweater roundup, but Matt Damon's is far worse.
He was there, of course, to promote We Bought a Zoo, and went on to chat with Matt Lauer about a few things, including his fear of snakes. Here's a peek at the segment (sadly, he appears to have removed the sweater beforehand):
Yeah, about that snake phobia—according to his Zoo costar Scarlett Johansson, Damon was so freaked out during filming, he "cried like a baby":
He was pretty terrified. He was definitely sweating a bit, and maybe the sweat formed in the corner of his eye. I said, "Matt, these kids are practically juggling the snakes. Hold it together."
Sexiest dad, awkwardly tight henley shirt, horrifying Christmas sweater, AND he's scared of snakes? Man, that whole tough guy persona is drying up before my very eyes.
If there's any celebrity I can forgive for sporting a Santa-themed cardigan, though, it's Matt Damon. It's okay, Matt, I still love you. But let's hurry up and get past this zoo business so I can see you kicking some ass again in Elysium, where you seem to be decked out in a refreshingly macho prison jumpsuit.
What do you think about We Bought a Zoo—are you planning to see it?
Image via MSNBC.com