Breaking holiday news, you guys: after what was reportedly a giant pain in her sizable rear end getting her Christmas cards ordered, Kim Kardashian recently had to ditch the entire lot because the luxury stationery she chose featured one of her wedding photos. Oh, why do bad things happen to good people?

I mock, but I have to say, I sort of feel her pain. I can't say I ever thought I'd have something in common with Kim Kardashian, but even though my holiday card photos involve a rickety self-timer and a Lego-strewn living room backdrop and two feral children and, like, zero makeup artists, I'm still wincing over the idea of poor Kim having to start all over. I hate ordering holiday cards so much I might have stayed married for an extra couple months, if I were her.

The story is that Kim placed an order for cards right before she left for her honeymoon with Kris Humphries, and naturally, the infamous perfectionist took the time to make sure the cards were juuuuuust right. According to a source:

She wanted her Christmas cards to be perfect, and she wanted at least 10 different choices of holiday cards, black and white, matted finish, you name it, Kim thought of it. The proofs were delivered to Kim in mid-September, and she conveyed to the owners of the company that she was very pleased with the results. Kim said she would get back to them with a final choice, but alas, she never did, for obvious reasons.

(Hmmm. I am wondering about the reliability of a source who says things like "alas.")

This Monday, Kim made it clear that she had moved on, holiday-card-wise:


I'm sure the 2011 Kardashian Kard will be a lavish, heavily-staged affair as always, but what a waste, considering Kim's original order probably cost more than my car. Sure, it wouldn't work to send out the Kim + Kris cards as is, considering how desperate she probably is to put that whole embarrassing wedding business behind her, but come on, let's get creative here!

For instance, Kim could Photoshop out Kris's face and add a lovable pet instead. Just look at how gorgeous this design is, Kim!



Perhaps she could add a bit of whimsy and playfulness to an otherwise awkward subject with a cavorting sea mammal of some kind?



If worse comes to worse, there's always the option of a strategically-placed snowflake. I spent several painstaking hours crafting this breathtaking professional option for her:



Really, I think with just a little ingenuity, the cards could have been saved—but then again, the image of happier times may simply be too painful to bear. Maybe the 2011 Kardashian family card theme she alluded to will be "media distraction."



Images via Us Weekly, Heavy.com, Scienceblogs.com