I have to admit that I've never actually watched an entire episode of Jersey Shore, but judging by the clips I've seen, the kids on the show seem to be occupied with two main activities: sloppily attempting to contract a variety of sexually-transmitted diseases, and getting wasted to the point of falling on their spray-tanned asses.

According to Snooki, however, what you see on the show doesn't necessarily reflect reality. Apparently Snooki and the gang are victims of reality show bias, where the producers only choose to show what they believe will make for entertaining television—which in their case happens to be boozing, hooking up, and generally behaving like brain-damaged orangutans.

If this was literally any reality star other than Snooki, I'd probably believe her. As it is, I call bullshit.

Snooki recently did an interview with GQ, and she told the magazine that if she were the one in charge of the Jersey Shore cameras, she'd show a different side of the infamous roommates:

I wouldn't show as much drinking and partying. I would show more of us chilling out and having a good time -- which they don't show. We don't even drink those nights, but we laugh all night. They don't show anything but us drinking and hooking up.

Um ... that's because you do things like this when you get drunk, Snooki:



I mean, one solution to the whole "everyone thinks we're a bunch of drunken idiots!" problem is, you know, to stop acting like a bunch of drunken idiots all the damn time.

Snooki went on to explain her theory for why the producers don't focus on the mellow, non-drunk moments in the Shore house:

Maybe because of the success of the show they think that if they don't show us drinking and hooking up, then it wouldn't stay successful, but I think that if they showed the sober side of us, people would like it even more and it'd even change people's minds about us.

Hey, I'm willing to be convinced that these people aren't a total waste of food, but color me skeptical. I'm pretty sure a sober episode of Jersey Shore would reveal that instead of being outrageous, shocking, and over-the-top, the kids are essentially just vapid, gross ... and more than a little dumb.

Besides, the current appeal of the show clearly works as is. According to some reports, Snooki made $750,000 last year for being a trainwrecky pile of booze, so why bother changing her persona now? Sadly enough, no one's going to pay her for being known as the chill, good-time-having homebody.

Do you think Jersey Shore would be as popular if they showed less drinking/hooking up?



Image via Flickr/NVS_Inc