lindsay lohanLindsay Lohan has a lot on her plate lately. She's got weird '80s bronzer to apply. She's got a morgue to clean up. And she's got an almost-million-dollar check to cash from Playboy.

According to TMZ, over the weekend, Lindsay started shooting nude -- surely, very tasteful -- photos for Hugh Hefner's girly mag, and they're earning her some serious coin. Sources say that the, let's be honest, icky deal has been in the works for months. The original offer was made at $750,000 -- to which Lindsay said, "Hell no, my lady bits are worth a mil." To which Playboy came back with not quite that much, but enough to get Lindsay to sign the dotted line.

So, not gonna say I'm surprised that LiLo is taking part in something so ... tawdry. But I am going to say that I'm shocked that Playboy is paying her anything over a grand. I'd pay a million dollars not to see her naked.

Now, I can appreciate a beautiful naked woman as much as the next gal -- they're smooth, curvy, soft; they're much more attractive than naked dudes -- but Lindsay Lohan is one of, if not the last people on earth I'd like to see naked.

There is nothing sexy about Lohan. If we're talking around her Mean Girls days, okay, fine, I'll give you that. She was cute and sane back then. But Lindsay now? No thanks. With all her plastic surgery, she looks about 20 years older than she is; she's a hot mess period; and -- and -- we've all seen her underwearless crotch before. And it wasn't pretty.

Aside from the fact that she's a tabloid fixture -- for being a wasted, petulant brat -- Lohan isn't even relevant anymore. She hasn't made a movie in ages, and she's not even dating Samantha Ronson. Who cares about her?

Apparently Hugh Hefner. And I guess some other people if they're willing to cough up that much. I, for one, will not be looking at those photos, though. Unless, you know, they happen to be readily available online. But I won't like it.

Do you want to see Lindsay Lohan in Playboy?

 

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