Lindsay Lohan's Morgue Malfunction Might Save Her Life
So, the way I see it, things are looking up for Lindsay Lohan. Stop laughing, I'm serious. Yes, LiLo showed up late for her court-ordered community service stint at the county morgue this morning. That's right, let's say it again: At the MORGUE. Where she'll be working mostly as a janitor, "emptying trash, vacuuming, cleaning toilets" and the like.
Not only was Lohan late, the excuse she gave for her tardiness was the lamest I've ever heard come out of her mouth, and that's saying a lot: She couldn't find the entrance. To the morgue. To the morgue she's visited previously. And entered, presumably.
So WHY am I saying that things are looking up for Lindsay, you ask? Well, they always say you've got to hit rock bottom before you can start your climb back up to the top, right?
Honey, if showing up late to your gig scrubbing toilets at the county morgue because you couldn't find the front door ain't hitting rock bottom, I don't know what is.
Actually, there is one level of rock bottom even lower, but that involves showing up to the morgue in a body bag, which is even less flattering than the last outfit LiLo wore to court, and there's no coming back up from there.
Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. What are we supposed to do with you? Lohan has gone way over the trouble starlet line now. Hell, she's entered full-on cartoon villain territory, what with the chewing tobacco-tinted teeth and Cruella de Vil make-up and crazed, I-did-enough-meth-to-kill-a-horse-today facial expressions. All she needs now is ominous theme music that starts playing whenever she enters the room.
But, like I said, maybe this latest, er, misadventure is a sign of better days ahead. I mean, come on. How low can she go?
I'm just praying Lohan's next screw-up as a morgue employee doesn't involve a Weekend at Bernie's-type stunt that ends with some poor stiff being catapulted into Charlie Sheen's pool.
Do you think things could get any worse for Lindsay Lohan?
Image via Getty
Piping Hot Posts