justin bieber mistletoeForget Halloween and Thanksgiving, let's start focusing on Christmas. In order to maximize annoyance and sell as many holiday-themed records as possible, Justin Bieber released "Mistletoe" today, his original pop Christmas carol that will make young girls dream about romantic walks in the snow and innocent kisses under a piece of poisonous plant life. This is the first release off his album, sigh, Under the Mistletoe, which features duets with artists like Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men, and Usher, and while I'm all for a new Xmas song to bop around to while I sit in holiday traffic, this song doesn't measure up.

When you've got "All I Want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey and "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays" by 'N Sync to compete with, you gotta bring your A game. Bieber doesn't.

First of all, the song sounds like Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" fell on top of a track of jingle bells that Bieber laid some cheesy lyrics over. It's slow, in an awkward mid-tempo way, that leaves you wondering how stupid you look swaying. Just me maybe?

We'll see what the rest of his Christmas album has to offer, but so far I'm not impressed. The video leaves something to be desired, too -- his girlfriend in the short is a dead-ringer for Selena Gomez, and when they pick out a tree, I wonder what Chelsea Clinton is doing there -- but more than that, the whole thing just seems a bit low budget. Is the Bieber team tightening their belt?

But who cares what I think -- this song is going to blow UP. We'll hear it 1,000 times on the radio before Turkey Day, on store soundtracks, and as a result, we'll be humming it when we wake up in the morning. And I have to admit, after listening to it only three times, I do hear the lyric "shorty with you" playing on repeat in my poor, poor brain.

Who knows. Maybe in 10 listens I'll absolutely love it. Bieber has that way, you know?

WATCH Justin Bieber's "Mistletoe" video and tell me what you think!

 

Photo via YouTube