Sunday's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion brought a lot of what we all saw coming: Teresa Giudice vs. The World. But even so, every minute of it was as delightful as we had hoped. You know, in that comforting/icky Schadenfreude kind of way that only reality TV can provide.
Before we get down and dirty with all the details of the show, though, can we please just cut to the chase and say it: Teresa Giudice needs help. Like, serious psychotherapy supplemented with medicine help. She is a pathological liar. She is delusional. She is mean. (And, unrelated, she is dumber than a taco shell. I mean, good Lord, my shih tzu has to have a higher I.Q. than that woman.)
The thing that struck me most about the reunion wasn't the drama of everybody ganging up on Teresa, like I expected. It was Teresa ganging up on everybody.
In all my years of watching reality television, few people have come close to Teresa and her ability to lie at the drop of a dime, get so nasty with people she supposedly loves, be so disconnected with reality, and not be able to take any criticism at all. Ever.
I realized Teresa possessed these traits this past season, but it was really highlighted during the reunion. Anything anyone said to her -- the girls, Andy -- she denied. She didn't know what was going on with her bankruptcy, or what the implications were. She "wasn't sure" if she let Gia watch the RHONJ premiere with all the fighting at Melissa's son's christening. (When she damn well let her watch it at Caroline's brother's house.) She never said anything bad about Melissa to Caroline. She never told her husband to not tell Kathy and Richie their "secrets" for flipping houses so they could make money.
She literally thinks that she is the only person in the entire universe that deserves wealth, happiness, fame, and success. And if anybody else has it, like Melissa said, it somehow "came from Teresa and Joe." I say that she needs psychotherapy -- and she really does -- but I mainly say it in jest. Because that is the last thing that woman would ever do. I honestly think that she goes to bed every night, thinking she did an a-okay job that day. She's "calm and cool like a whistle." Right, guys?
Then there was Andy. God bless him. He really didn't take it easy on Teresa -- although she had no idea what he was doing. She clearly doesn't possess the ability to pick up on nuances or sarcasm.
Teresa's getting to the point where she's not that fun to watch anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, the reunion was gorgeous and I can't wait for Part 2. But, I don't know, it seems almost wrong to spectate her and all her antics. She's so far gone that it seems, like, mean. It feels like we're watching something we shouldn't. Like a really bad car crash. You know?
Do you think Teresa is crazy? If so, do you think she'll ever not be?
Image via Bravo