Click "Like" if you think sleazy photos of teen minors should be allowed on Facebook. Oh my god. Did you just seriously "Like" that status? YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT.
Dirty birds like you will be very sad to know that everyone's favorite hyper-sexualized child bride, Courtney Stodden, has been kicked off Facebook for being too cartoonishly slutty provocative. Stodden, who became a D-list celebrity of sorts a few months ago when she married 51-year-old Lost star Doug Hutchison at the tender age of 16, claims she got her access to Facebook revoked due to "inappropriate sexual content."
The best part? Her own mother says the real reason Courtney got the boot is because women everywhere are just jealous.
Ah, the Jealousy Defense. I can't say I'm unfamiliar with this tactic, because as an entertainment writer, I've been accused of being envious of everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to Chaz Bono. Still, there's a really special sort of dementia in the way Stodden's mom, Krista Keller, presents her version of the UR JELLUS argument:
It's the jealousy from the women towards her. The men love her, the women hate her. The women report the photo because it's so easy to do. You just click a button. They think she's too sexy, they all report her together, and it's done. (...) A lot of men and young girls love her page, but when the wives see their husbands on her page, they team up to get Courtney kicked off!
Damn these intolerant women! Why can't we just accept Stodden's amazing talents, which include airbrushed abs AND the gift of language? (Wildly wiggling & jauntily jiggling myself to jolting jams as I friskily flaunt a flirty outfit completed w/sexy white 7in. go-go boots! — Courtney Stodden, Twitter, 2011.)
I'm not saying there haven't been a few women reporting Stodden's page, but I highly doubt anyone's doing this out of jealousy. For one thing, if I caught my husband ogling photos of Stodden, I'd be like, hey, if a trashy-looking chick with the face of a 40-year-old crack whore turns you on, have at it. I'll just be over here looking for naked pictures of Alexander Skarsgård, mmkay?
Also, if "young girls love her page," isn't it possible these young girls have parents who would rather not see their 13-year-old daughter becoming a fan of Courtney freaking Stodden? I mean, are we really supposed to feel sorry for those poor girls who are being denied access to new and thrilling images of Stodden's various blowjob expressions?
Keller insists that Stodden's photos are perfect acceptable, even for a 17-year-old:
There is nothing on her page you wouldn't find anywhere on Facebook! She has never done any nudity. Not a breast, not even a butt cheek. It's just her in a bathing suit!
Well, if you'd like to decide for yourself, the page is still available—which makes me wonder if Facebook has actually blocked anything at all. This could easily be a publicity stunt, except for the fact that I doubt Stodden is smart enough to dream it up.
However, I think Keller is wrong about one thing, I'm not sure you'd find this GMA screenshot on anyone else's Wall:
(Stodden's poetic caption for the image: "The public reacts so badly to our love, but we just laugh." Oh Courtney, everyone who saw that interview laughed until they wet their pants.)
What do you think about this whole thing—should Stodden's photos be allowed on Facebook?
Image via YouTube, Good Morning America