Tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was a time for wrap-ups. Well, sort of. The editors at Bravo made a valiant effort. There was just too much turmoil and bad blood this season to really wrap anything up, but they did a helluva job putting a proverbial pink bow on the messes that are Ashley Holmes, Teresa Giudice, and Melissa Gorga to make it seem like things wrapped up.
Oh, and then there was the final piece of drama of the season: Teresa likening Caroline's Italian-ness to the Olive Garden.
Before I get into the supposed "wrap-ups" and very real drama, though, I'd like to bring to light something I've never discussed in my recaps before: Caroline Manzo's radio show, "Caroline's Rules."
Now, I like Caroline just as much as the next gal, but can we discuss for a moment how mind-bogglingly boring that storyline was? Worst. Ever. I'm just realizing this now, but every time they would show her sitting in that chair in front of that microphone with those "101.5" signs in the background, I would always get up for a drink or go to the bathroom or something because anything -- throwing out lint from my pocket -- was better than witnessing that snoozefest. I get that without it Caroline wouldn't have had much of a role this season, but come on. I'd rather have watched her reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee in silence than do those stupid radio shows. Just sayin'.
Now, the wrap-ups. First, Bravo decided to give Ashley, Jacqueline, and Chris a perfunctory five minutes or so, and of course, in those five minutes, Ashley runs off crying after getting reprimanded. Come up with a new act, gurl. Yours is getting stale. Anyway, out of nowhere, Chris says that Ashley can stay at their house. It's like, I'm sorry, did I miss something? When did they become one big happy family again? I mean, good for them, but Ashley sucks, and clearly she's going to brat out again like she always does. Why the sudden change of heart?
Then there was the family portrait with the Giudices and the Gorgas. For an hour, or however long the photo session took, everyone "got along." And by "got along," I mean they put plastic smiles on their faces because a camera was present.
And finally there was Teresa's cookbook, Fabulicious. Which, you should know, isn't just a cookbook, but a cookbook with stories. Big difference. In this cookbook, her introduction -- her introduction! -- bashes Caroline. She calls her one-sixteenth Italian, makes fun of the way she makes her meatballs, then says she's "as Italian as the Olive Garden." What is your problem, Teresa? Like Caroline said: This is supposed to be a cookbook, not a bashing book. And like Christopher Manzo said: You must not be confident enough in your cooking if you have to feature gossip in your book to sell it.
You know, I was never a big fan of Teresa, but this season, she was straight-up out of control. She was rude, obnoxious, incredibly self-absorbed, and flat-out delusional. I don't know if the fame got to her head or something, but she was God awful. Who bashes people in a cookbook? It's weird and uncalled for. She thinks that she can say -- or print -- anything about anyone, but the second anyone says anything to her, she freaks out. She really is the worst, and I can't wait to watch the ladies rip her a new one on the reunion.
What did you think of the finale?
Image via Bravo


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Comments 52
I am So Bummed out by this.. This Year I havent enjoyed this Show that Much....I was Always Pulling for Teresa and Joe....I Felt So Bad for the Money Problems and Then Family making Fun of them for it.....But I Think Teressa is an Angry Gal......She has Made Fun of Her Friends and No it Wasnt Funny.......I am Embarrassed For Her.....And By the Way....Her 5 yr old needs a Spanking......She is Very Naughty...Bottom Line....I Love my Friends and I Would never talk to Them or Say Mean things to Them like She did..... SoSad!!!
TERRESA IS A STUPID,SELFISH BIATCH I CANT STAND HER DIS SEASON WTF HAPPEN 2 HER SHE USE 2 B DA SWEETEST ONE BUT SOMETIN HAPPEN WAT I DNT KNOW SHE DOESNT GET ALONG WIT HER CUZIN KATHY WHICH BY DA WAY IS SOO SWEET & CAREIN HOW CAN SHE NOT GET ALONG WIT HER DAMM TERESA DATS UR 1ST CUZIN SHE LUVS U SHE TRIED SOO HARD 2 GET CLOSE & ALL BITCHYTERESA WILL DO WAS BAD MOUTH TALK HER & PUSH HER AWAY WHO DOES DAT,ALL I HAV 2 SAY IS TERESA SHAPE UP U THINK UR ALL DAT BUT UR NOT ALSO MELLISA TRIED SOO HARD 2 GET CLOSER 2 HER & YEAH DEY WILL TALK & HANGOUT BUT WAT WAS DA POINT EVERYTIN DAT MELLISA WILL SAY OR DO BITCHY TERESA WILL HAV SOMETIN NEGATIVE 2 SAY, I FEEL TERESA IS JEALOUS OF MELLISA NO DOUBT...HATE,HATE,HATE U TERESA!!!!
OH YEAH, & PLEASE DO SOMETIN WIT UR 5YR OLD DEAMON WEN SHE GETS OLDER SHES GOIN 2 RUN UR LIFE U NEED 2 SPANK HER ASS DAT TIMEOUT SHIT DAT DOESNT WRK SHES SPOILED & I C U LET HER GET AWAY WIT ALOT SHE HAS NO RESPECT 4 OTHERS NOT EVEN HER DAD & ALLU SAY IS STOP ,STOP YEAH U STOPU HAV NO CONTROL OVER HER I FEEL SORRY 4 UR ASS TERESA...
REALLY, SHE HAS FAKE HAIR LINE I DIDNT KNOW DAT IM SHOCKED!!!!
this is the ONLY part i like about reality shows .. THE COMMENTS!! :) LET HER RIP PEOPLE!! :)
well we all see nothing going on upstairs, cause if she did, she would have made a cook book, and not a slam book!!
I look forward so much to this re-cap every week because you always hit the nail on the head. Sadly I doubt Teresa will ever realize what an idiot she is even if she watches the season 20 times in a row. She is DUMB. It's all about her and how it looks. She is stuck on the hamster wheel. I can't wait for nexy week.
Its all for the cameras!!! Hello...Anyway, it was a good finale. The most heart warming story line was Kathy telling everyone about her daughter's brain tumor. OMG, it was sad. Her husband is so funny and he is not even Italian. ABsolutely hysterical...But I think Caroline and her family are getting a little stale. Her husband is a businessman and a good one. The daughter is a good girl. She is not that fat and she puts herself down too much. She is just as good looking as the boys. They are a handsome family but we need to wake up. Come on Caroline....You need to comeout with some more tough love wisdom and let them all have it.As fore Teresa. It is part of the package. She needs to sell books and provide for the family. It is what it is. but she is not exactly commiting a crime. Not nice, but maybe it is part of the reality show's ploy to get more ratings. It was boring sometimes...As for Melissa, boring. But her husband is so perverted italian style...he is young and rich and has the american dream so I will give him a lot of credit coming into this show after Danielle. He did fine. Teresa and Joe wow...is all I can say...but it is defintitley a scripted reality show.....good job Joe Giuidice, I know a lot of relatives liek you....LOL...
It is time for Teresa to go....she is nasty, vindictive and disloyal...everything that her daughters will inherit if she doesn't stop now! Fame has gone to her head and she needs an intervention!