Tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was a time for wrap-ups. Well, sort of. The editors at Bravo made a valiant effort. There was just too much turmoil and bad blood this season to really wrap anything up, but they did a helluva job putting a proverbial pink bow on the messes that are Ashley Holmes, Teresa Giudice, and Melissa Gorga to make it seem like things wrapped up.
Oh, and then there was the final piece of drama of the season: Teresa likening Caroline's Italian-ness to the Olive Garden.
Before I get into the supposed "wrap-ups" and very real drama, though, I'd like to bring to light something I've never discussed in my recaps before: Caroline Manzo's radio show, "Caroline's Rules."
Now, I like Caroline just as much as the next gal, but can we discuss for a moment how mind-bogglingly boring that storyline was? Worst. Ever. I'm just realizing this now, but every time they would show her sitting in that chair in front of that microphone with those "101.5" signs in the background, I would always get up for a drink or go to the bathroom or something because anything -- throwing out lint from my pocket -- was better than witnessing that snoozefest. I get that without it Caroline wouldn't have had much of a role this season, but come on. I'd rather have watched her reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee in silence than do those stupid radio shows. Just sayin'.
Now, the wrap-ups. First, Bravo decided to give Ashley, Jacqueline, and Chris a perfunctory five minutes or so, and of course, in those five minutes, Ashley runs off crying after getting reprimanded. Come up with a new act, gurl. Yours is getting stale. Anyway, out of nowhere, Chris says that Ashley can stay at their house. It's like, I'm sorry, did I miss something? When did they become one big happy family again? I mean, good for them, but Ashley sucks, and clearly she's going to brat out again like she always does. Why the sudden change of heart?
Then there was the family portrait with the Giudices and the Gorgas. For an hour, or however long the photo session took, everyone "got along." And by "got along," I mean they put plastic smiles on their faces because a camera was present.
And finally there was Teresa's cookbook, Fabulicious. Which, you should know, isn't just a cookbook, but a cookbook with stories. Big difference. In this cookbook, her introduction -- her introduction! -- bashes Caroline. She calls her one-sixteenth Italian, makes fun of the way she makes her meatballs, then says she's "as Italian as the Olive Garden." What is your problem, Teresa? Like Caroline said: This is supposed to be a cookbook, not a bashing book. And like Christopher Manzo said: You must not be confident enough in your cooking if you have to feature gossip in your book to sell it.
You know, I was never a big fan of Teresa, but this season, she was straight-up out of control. She was rude, obnoxious, incredibly self-absorbed, and flat-out delusional. I don't know if the fame got to her head or something, but she was God awful. Who bashes people in a cookbook? It's weird and uncalled for. She thinks that she can say -- or print -- anything about anyone, but the second anyone says anything to her, she freaks out. She really is the worst, and I can't wait to watch the ladies rip her a new one on the reunion.
What did you think of the finale?
Image via Bravo