Ashton Kutcher's Alleged Love Child Will Be Fine Without Him

ashton kutcher demi mooreJust when you thought the Saga of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore couldn't get any more heart-wrenching! As if Kutcher's extracurricular activities with pretty young things who just love playing celeb kiss-and-tell weren't bad enough! Now come allegations of the ultimate betrayal: A love child! With Kutcher's "anonymous" mistress! 

Except, well, I hate to be a stickler for ... grammar, or whatever, but "love" child? Wouldn't momentary hot tub lust child be a better term?


Apparently Kutcher dumped his babymama after she told him the news, and Demi is so "humiliated" that she's wasting away to nothing.

So let's assume this whole baby rumor is true. (Because it's so much more fun that way!) Clearly Kutcher isn't interested in being Dad of the Year. He's got all those stepsiblings stepchildren already. And who knows if this mistress is in any kind of position to raise a child? It's a full-time job, hooking up with sleazy celebs and dishing to the tabloids about it.

But it's totally fine if Kutcher and his ex-fling aren't ready to be parents. Because I know the perfect Hollywood couple for the job.

Angie and Brad, of course!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt should definitely adopt Ashton Kutcher's love child. For real! Come on, nobody's even going to notice one more kid running around that house (or chalet, or hotel, or rainforest treehouse, or wherever they live). Plus, the baby would get the most amazing hand-me-downs ever. And he/she would get to have playdates with Zuma and Kingston!!

It's a no-brainer solution, Mr. Kutcher. You're welcome.

Do you think Ashton Kutcher is really having a love child?


Image via Steve Maller Photography/Flickr

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