Ashton Kutcher's Alleged Love Child Will Be Fine Without Him


ashton kutcher demi mooreJust when you thought the Saga of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore couldn't get any more heart-wrenching! As if Kutcher's extracurricular activities with pretty young things who just love playing celeb kiss-and-tell weren't bad enough! Now come allegations of the ultimate betrayal: A love child! With Kutcher's "anonymous" mistress! 

Except, well, I hate to be a stickler for ... grammar, or whatever, but "love" child? Wouldn't momentary hot tub lust child be a better term?

Apparently Kutcher dumped his babymama after she told him the news, and Demi is so "humiliated" that she's wasting away to nothing.

So let's assume this whole baby rumor is true. (Because it's so much more fun that way!) Clearly Kutcher isn't interested in being Dad of the Year. He's got all those stepsiblings stepchildren already. And who knows if this mistress is in any kind of position to raise a child? It's a full-time job, hooking up with sleazy celebs and dishing to the tabloids about it.

But it's totally fine if Kutcher and his ex-fling aren't ready to be parents. Because I know the perfect Hollywood couple for the job.

Angie and Brad, of course!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt should definitely adopt Ashton Kutcher's love child. For real! Come on, nobody's even going to notice one more kid running around that house (or chalet, or hotel, or rainforest treehouse, or wherever they live). Plus, the baby would get the most amazing hand-me-downs ever. And he/she would get to have playdates with Zuma and Kingston!!

It's a no-brainer solution, Mr. Kutcher. You're welcome.

Do you think Ashton Kutcher is really having a love child?


Image via Steve Maller Photography/Flickr

celeb couples, celebrity gossip


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar hs

I don't believe any of it. I think they're ramping him up to portray a sleazy bachelor on 2 and a half men. Just like Charlie Sheen's life mirrored his character. And even if some of it is true, Demi probably already knows abt it but is playing along. It's HOLLYWOOD, they're ACTORS. It's what they get PAID to do.

Ricanjen Ricanjen

I Can't believe it and the reason cause they looked so happy and he always seemed to be happy even thou she was older. But if its a lie I say sue the woman and the news outlets!!! That will shut them up and say NO WAY I PLAYED DEMI! If there is a child then paternity tests after.....just in case she was not with Charlie Sheen first...LOL

rosy10 rosy10

Im so happy im not famous!!! jeeeze!!! these people have no privacy whatsoever.If its true i feel bad for Demi and Ashton.Imagine...the whole world knows your business.This is not funny.

gemin... geminilove709

I heard they are doing this to get ratings. But I really think this whole story is boring....

nonmember avatar Raine

Geez, yet another out of wedlock "Hollywood" child to hide...i.e. "Arnold". How sad is it these men can't control themselves or use birth control to prevent the birth of a child. Who suffers....the child who will always be known as the "love chidl(?)" of so & so.
If Ashton needs his freedom to play around, Demi should dump his A**. She is in her 40's & has kids already, don't think she wants or can have any more.
If you "wanna play" ya gotta pay. Sadly, did Demi think this marriage with a much younger Ashton really last?

nonmember avatar carolyn

Some of these women who get pregnant "accidently" are just looking for a free ride ( I used to work divorces, it is amazing how many women in Texas , a no alimony state accidently get pregnant during a divorce). I would think it would be a karmic kick in the butt if it is true if Ashton and Demi got custody.Demi has raised some seminormal kids in Hollywood so you have to give her props.

Bruce Lee

It's got to be tough on Demi when your husband is prettier then you are.

nonmember avatar nonmember

I think he might have a child but who knows, in one night a lot can happen. He could also become sick of something. Maybe there will be a child? Good for him, he needs one. But the new gal is not so pretty as others.

nonmember avatar bro

this crap only happens when you want to fool everyone into thinking you're straight

1-10 of 18 comments 12 Last