Entertainment

5 Reasons Taylor Lautner Will Beat Brad Pitt at the Box Office

by Jacqueline Burt September 23, 2011 at 1:32 PM

I'm sorry, Brad Pitt. We had a good run, right? I've been in your corner since Thelma & Louise, but there's a new kid on the block, and his name is Taylor Lautner. And just like your movie Moneyball, his new movie, Abduction, opens today. And well, I'm sorry to have to put it to you this way, but ...

The King is dead! Long live the King!

Yes, it's true, Taylor Lautner is going to kick some serious butt at the box office this weekend. I ain't mad at cha, Brad, it's just a fact. Here are 5 reasons why Taylor Lautner's new flick will beat Brad Pitt's ...

Taylor Lautner looks way better than Brad Pitt with his shirt off. Look, there's no arguing this one. Not only is Taylor a couple of decades younger than Brad, his abs are the stuff of legend. Hey, the truth hurts.
Taylor Lautner is a ninja. Okay, maybe not technically a ninja, but he is seriously skilled at mixed martial arts fighting. (I learned that from his appearance on Letterman the other night. Who says TV isn't educational?) The Twilight hunk could totally take Brad out.
Taylor Lautner is a free man. Brad, your kids are adorable. And I like kids -- heck, I even have a couple -- but for your female audience members, the pitter-patter of 800 theoretical little feet might sort of interfere with the fantasizing process.
Taylor Lautner performs some of his own stunts in his movie, which will feature a lot of chasing after/running away from bad guys. Brad Pitt? Well, he does his own stunts ... if you count sitting on a bench and staring thoughtfully at a baseball field a stunt.
Taylor Lautner fans still go to the movies. Tweens and teens are the ones who actually go to movies in theaters nowadays; they're the only ones with enough free time and disposable income to justify paying $200 for an evening of Twizzlers and cinema. More mature audiences, meanwhile, are just as likely to yawn, reach for a bathrobe, and figure Moneyball will be streaming on Netflix soon enough.

Who do you think will win this weekend's box office battle?

Image via Eva Rinaldi/Flickr

Add Comment 9

Like What You Just Read?

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Taylor Lautner.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Extra Sugar

Tasty Treats from Our Partners

Partner Headlines

Jennifer Aniston Strips for the Camera - Celebuzz
Man Dead for 40 Minutes Shockingly Comes Back to Life - Wetpaint Moms
Proof That Kardashian Wedding Was Staged - Newser
Man Jumps Off Empire State Building & What Happens Next Is Unbelievable - Newser
Kendall Jenner Shares Revealing Photo - ET Online

Featured Videos

Add Comment

Comments 9

ScarlettP

September 23, 2011 at 1:38 PM

Because he looks like a total Qu**r?

This kids acting is like watching Snooki do an academy award winner role. I fear for all the teenies that will cry when he finally comes out.

Report this comment

Nonmember comment from me

September 23, 2011 at 1:52 PM

taylor lautner is just a little too young for me to think is hot.

Report this comment

Nonmember comment from Kristi

September 23, 2011 at 2:08 PM

Well considering he's done the twilight movies I have to very seriously question his taste level. Unfortunately they are so bad that I don't think I can trust a movie he's in... sorry you do too many bad movies and even if you happen to actually get a good one people are going to assume it's bad off of past experience.

Report this comment

Facebook comment from Courtney Paige Neale

September 23, 2011 at 2:23 PM

Oh please, Scarlett, he is NOT gay!! I called it when I saw Shark Boy. I knew this kid was going to be famous. He's going to be around a while. And I think hes a good actor. I'm only 25 so he's pretty smoken to me :)

Report this comment

Nonmember comment from Nope

September 23, 2011 at 3:18 PM

Reviews for Moneyball are over 95% positive, and Abduction was at 0% on rotten tomatoes when I checked. Lautner's being compared to Cindy Crawford, Vanilla Ice, and Bert from Sesame Street in terms of acting ability. I don't think Pitt's going to lose sleep over a threat from him.

Report this comment

Nonmember comment from Real-talk

September 23, 2011 at 3:30 PM

All I gotta say is wow!!! I can clearly tell that the girl who wrote this is just obsessed with this dudes look. First of all, I saw this garbage at the premiere and I wanted to shoot myself. Yes its that bad. Taylors acting is so bad that not even editing can help it. I mean for gods sake it has a 0% on rottentomatoes for a reason. The Apes on Rise planet of the had better acting chops. If it wasn't for the great supporting cast that the film had I would've gone to sleep. You know its bad when you catch some of the cast laughing at the movie. How dare you even put Brad and Taylor in the same sentence. This movie might make money because of the obsessed little girls, but at least Brad will get nominated something Taylors name would never have the light of seeing. I don't get what's so special about this kid or why the girls are obsessed with him when the dude is gay. Yes that is correct. Having met the kid he is a closest homo and watch in 10 yrs when it comes out your gonna think about this post. I mean come on the dude sings Britney Spears songs for a living.

Report this comment

cocobeannns

September 23, 2011 at 3:41 PM

Sure, he's nice to look at (in a craddle-robbing kind of way). I kid. But, he's really not that great of an actor. He's horrible in the Twilight movies, I doubt he's improved any for this one. I'm not a fan of Pitt's either for that matter. I've never understood the big deal about him.

Report this comment