Ashton Kutcher Two and a Half MenThe Two and a Half Men promo ads with a half-naked Ashton Kutcher promised all would be revealed on September 19. They lied. Oh sure, the half-hour premiere show managed to both kill off Charlie Sheen, er, former main character Charlie Harper -- he fell in front of a Paris Metro train under mysterious circumstances not surprisingly involving his long-time stalker Rose -- and introduce us to Kutcher's Walden Schmidt (who, as it happens, maintained a half-naked state throughout the show).

But that was, disappointingly, it.

We got a half hour that didn't even bring Kutcher in until the halfway point, when he showed up Rose-like on the deck of Charlie's beachhouse to ask to use the phone, interrupting Alan Harper's (Jon Cryer) semi-mourning of his dead brother. But aside from setting Kutcher up as super-rich and able to buy the house, we'll have to tune in next week to find out how they'll make his life intersect with Alan's in a way that denotes the title.

Those of us who tuned in for "all" of Ashton got more like a taste, albeit one that assured us he, er, his character is hung like an elephant. And there was a butt shot, sadly blurred out.

What we did see leaves us confident Charlie's gone, but still wondering: is this really a new Men? 

Charlie Sheen's character Charlie was hardly a stretch from his real life. Boozy womanizer played boozy womanizer. Now we have Ashton who is by no means Charlie Sheen, and he's playing a character totally unlike Charlie Harper (hooray). He is, however, playing a young, sexy, rich dude who can get any woman he wants. Which is ... hardly a stretch?

Then again, Walden Schmidt made gazillions of dollars off a smarty pants deal with Microsoft, so Ashton's not playing the same sexy dumb dude from That '70s Show. He's "stretching." And there's the opportunity for a further reveal in next Monday night's "to be continued" episode.

I will say this. Seeing Ashton Kutcher play the womanizer is not only more believable (Sheen goddesses or no Sheen goddesses), but the fashion gods will be relieved to hear that primetime is not trying to convince America that hotties wear bowling shirts. Even if Ashton Kutcher is stereotyped, it's not as a Charlie Sheen replacement. And that's a relief.

Were you happy with the taste of Ashton Kutcher and the new Two and a Half Men?

 

Image via CBS