The final episode of Kate Plus 8 will air tonight at 9 p.m., and while most of us are probably experiencing a range of emotions from "disinterest" to "a vague sense of relief for the kids" over the news, Kate Gosselin is convinced we are devastated. Because, as she recently told Matt Lauer in a live interview on Today, we surely feel like we're "losing our favorite next-door neighbor."

Uh, no. But we'll get back to that particular insanity-nugget in a minute, because there are so many more crazy things that she said.

Kate was naturally asked about the advice given to her from her ex-husband Jon Gosselin, in which he said she should stop focusing on fame and money and turn her attentions to a regular lifestyle:

Reality TV is not a career. Get back to a normal life -- a simple life. (...) Obviously, there are families out there that have several kids -- people work normal jobs, and things work out. (...) I don’t have a farm on 24 acres and the kids seem to have a great time at my house.

Kate's response?

Jon may be accepting of mediocre for his kids. I want the best for my kids.

Heh. I love that an existence that doesn't include cameras shoved in their faces every second of the day is considered mediocre. Because reality TV has been such a positive influence on so many people, right? What better environment could you possibly choose for your children in order to give them the best shot at a well-adjusted life with the sorts of values that are likely to ensure their long-term happiness? Why, nothing! Except maybe, oh, ANY OTHER ENVIRONMENT YOU CAN IMAGINE, including RAISING THEM NAKED IN A CAVE SHACKLED TO A BATSHIT-STREAKED BOULDER.

Kate's claim is that since her role as a mother is to give her kids the best opportunities available to them, TV will continue to be their golden ticket. She went on to say that while she wants to find the "right" reality show, she's definitely more than willing to do another. Not only that, but she definitely wants to involve the kids, teasing that "I'm sure you will see my kids again at some point."

But I don't WANT to see your kids again, Kate. I want to forget about them entirely, because that's what will happen if you quit pimping them out on television. For the love, just let them go on to enjoy their mediocre childhoods in peace.

I'm hoping tonight's show will be the last we hear of Kate Gosselin, but I'm sure it won't be. I'm guessing we'll see something like Kate Tries to Date! soon, or maybe she'll come up with an addiction in order to appear on Celebrity Rehab, or ... ugh. I guess as long as she stirs up some sort of reaction from people, whether good or bad, she'll continue to have a shot at TV fame.

Okay, so tell me—are you sad about "losing your favorite next-door neighbor"?



Image via TLC