I can't say that I know Madonna personally, but I'm fairly confident I know what a few of her favorite things are: brutal self-punishing yoga workouts, pretending she has an ounce of talent when it comes to creating or starring in movies, and exotic-looking men who are at least half her age.
One thing's DEFINITELY off the list, though: hydrangeas. Just like you should never feed a dog chocolate or deliberately expose yourself to radioactive isotopes, you should never, ever, ever, ever, EVER give Madonna a hydrangea.
It's unclear what the hydrangea has ever done to offend Madonna, but according to a hilarious video taken during a press conference for her upcoming movie W.E., she "absolutely loathes" them.
Take a look:
So a fan hands her a pretty flower, Madge flashes an insincere smile and immediately hurls it on the floor, then rolls her eyes and grumps to someone off-camera about how the fan OBVIOUSLY didn't KNOW that she LOATHES hydrangeas.
I think my favorite part is how she's talking in a British accent. Oh, the painfully contrived accent is just the deliciously obnoxious cherry on the whole douchebag sundae.
Her rep has actually issued a statement about the offense, saying:
She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world ... No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.
I'm not even sure where to get started with that, except I'm pretty sure Madonna's rep just called me a smelly bag of plebeian shit for liking hydrangeas. What? I'm reading between the lines.
Here's a thought, Madonna. Pretty much everyone in the movie industry is convinced your new movie is going to be so bad that watching it will be like jamming the serrated edge of a grapefruit spoon against their eyeballs while simultaneously enduring a lemon-and-pepper-spray colonic, so you might want to try being halfway decent to your fans, since they're the only ones who will be interested in shelling out 20 bucks for the privilege of seeing what you bring to the table as a filmmaker. Which is to say: JUST PRETEND YOU LIKE THE GODDAMNED FLOWERS OH MY GOD.
What's your take on Madonna's floral freakout? Is she justified in being disgusted by the fan's offering?
Image via YouTube