Oh, poor Tara Reid. If any other actress—even one who has relentlessly descended to D-list status over the years—had gotten married over the weekend, she'd be swimming in media congratulations, including the requisite squeeing over the ring.
After all, it sounds like a fairy tale story: Reed was vacationing in Greece when, seemingly swept up in the romance of the moment, she married her boyfriend (who everyone thought was Danish businessman Michael Lilleund, but turns out to be someone named Zack Kehayov).
Unfortunately, since this is Tara Reid we're talking about, everyone just assumes the two lovebirds slurred their vows while pounding seven-inch rails of coke and chugging directly from a bottle of Tanqueray.
I mean, look, even if you discount her past drunken antics, you have to admit her Twitter timeline has that less-than-sober feel to it. We start with the engagement announcement at 11:58 a.m. on Saturday:
Followed about an hour and a half later by this gem:
(I assume the original tweet read, "YOU GUYSH I AM SHO GREECE MARRIED RIGHT NOW LOL WHRES MY PANTIES UHOH MY VAG SHOWD AGAIN")
She posted a few clarification tweets ("Love in Greece...I am now a wife :)" and the hilariously redundant, "Just got married in greece I love being a wife!"), then decided she needed to send out a few personal wedding announcements:
Heh. Okay, I'm not saying the wedding was for sure a spur-of-the-moment decision triggered by the variety of illegal substances coursing through their veins, I'm saying it seems like there's a really good chance that's how it went down.
Regardless of what sort of epic hangover the happy couple may be suffering from now, hopefully they can make it work. I think Tara deserves a little happiness, really, after all her years of embarrassing paparazzi images, botched plastic surgery, last year's broken engagement, and the recent odd news that she tried to make off with a Walgreen's shopping cart.
Are you surprised to hear about Tara Reid's, ah, whirlwind wedding?
Image via Flickr/Carlos Canteri