Phew! Round one of The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion was brutal. As Andy Cohen said, the "ladies" behaved like beasts. There was name calling, cursing, yelling, and general chaos as the blondes and the brunettes faced off on opposite couches.
Andy pretty much lost his sh*t wanting them to just "shut the f*&k up!" They were all really awful to one another, and they all came off as even more mean, self-involved, and psychotic than they did during the rest of the season -- a seemingly impossible feat. But you knew when the show started with Ramona Singer announcing to everyone that she had her period -- right then -- it was just going downhill from there. And downhill it went.
So much happened, and only so much could be heard above the shouting, but from what I was able to glean, here are some of the best (which in many cases means worst) moments from part one ... in no particular order.
1. Alex McCord got beat up by everyone. If she chooses to do the show again, she's a glutton for punishment. No one likes her. She has blonde hair so she sits on the couch with "Romonja" (Ramona + Sonja Morgan), but they have no real use for her.
From Jill Zarin calling her an effing bi*ch to Kelly Bensimon berating her again for her tendency to turn red when she's uncomfortable (she can't help it!), Alex could not get a break. Even Cindy called her a lapdog. Of course, her trying to butt into every single conversation and situation with an opinion didn't help, and it was hard to feel much sympathy for her.
2. Sonja's hair looked really good. Andy even noticed. She, of all the women, actually had the best behavior tonight as well. She did some explaining about her relationships and financial situation, and seems strong and willing to cope with what comes her way. The whole "Vajona" clip was a little uncomfortable, but she's a fun gal and didn't do too much attacking.
3. Sonja's vagina/vajona, however, has scarred Kelly for life after it was flashed during her cookbook shoot. Best line from Andy: "Sonja, was your vagina rude to Kelly?"
4. Cindy Barshop has been forever scarred by the mean housewives. She looked ready to mow them all down, she was so infuriated by the bunch of them. She raged at Ramona, told her she was "like a heroin addict" with her whole pinot grigo thing, and wouldn't back down from her decision to conduct a conference call during breakfast at Sonja's house. She seemed a bit unstable to be honest (or maybe she just needs to get laid as Alex suggested?), but I'm still with her on the preposterous pecking order thing.
5. Kelly Bensimon has no grip on reality. Sure they played some clips of her being the voice of reason, but if you listen to her talk for more than a few minutes, she's as scary as she was on Scary Island. But hey, she's a really nice person.
6. LuAnn de Lesseps was a swinger? Ramona was out of line when she went after LuAnn's daughter, but the countess didn't deny it when Ramona repeatedly stated that LuAnn and her ex-husband had an open marriage. Whatever floats her royal boat, but I'm just wondering about the etiquette involved. For the rest of the show, she just looked down her nose and inserted her annoying "wisdom" whenever possible.
7. It's all still about Bethenny. Jill admitted she's scared of her and said she thinks Bethenny is probably scared of her too (NOT!!); Kelly said she's not jealous of her, but admitted she was brilliant for putting the word "skinny" in front of margarita; and she's still the source of bad feelings between Jill and Ramona. Bethenny is not coming back; it's time to move on, ladies.
The previews for part two of the reunion next week look even more intense ... which is hard to imagine.
What were your favorite moments from part one of The Real Housewives of New York Reunion?
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