10 Best 'True Blood' One-Liners From Vamp Diva Pam

pam true bloodFinally, True Blood writers seem to have figured out what the rest of us did several seasons ago: Pam deserves some serious props. As Eric's protege, Pam (played by Kristin Bauer) has been the go-to character for dry, dastardly wit, and this season our favorite bad girl is moving out of the shadows and into the -- well, not spotlight, exactly, but you know what I mean.

What's fabulous about Pam is that she gets such an unabashed kick out of being evil. Pam has none of the lame vampire-guilt Bill carries around; she's even less of a human being than Eric. And why not? Hell, if you're gonna be a vampire, might as well be a vampire. Plus, Pam's take-no-prisoners, tell-it-like-it-is style has resulted in some of the best one-liners (not to mention two- and three-liners) ever, on True Blood or any other show in the history of time. Seriously.


I absolutely can't wait to hear what Pam has to say this week. In the meantime, my Top 10 Favorite Pam Quotes:

  1. Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chick lit memoirs and are bound together by sisterhood or estrogen or some other feminist drivel?
  2. I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember, I can rip your throat out if I need to, and also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.
  3. I'll give you 24 hours to deliver that witch to me and if you don't, I'll personally fuck, eat, and kill all three of you.
  4. Now why did you have to go and kill that maenad? She was a terrific decorator.
  5. This is not just about your relationship, you infatuated tween. There's a bigger picture.
  6. Let's go to the ladies' room and stare at ourselves in the mirror.
  7. Blah, blah, vampire emergency ... blah.
  8. I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets.
  9. If I was a human, I'd get chills right about now.
  10. There's vampire in your cleavage.

What's your favorite Pam quote?


Image via HBO

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