Pia Toscano’s New Single Reminds Me of the Dentist (LISTEN)

Lindsay Mannering
13

pia toscanoWe American Idol fans were shocked when Pia Toscano was voted off too soon, but we all knew she'd be back. And she is. With a single. That debuted on "On-Air with Ryan Seacrest." And it's terrible. "This Time" is Pia's attempt at winning back the cold hearts of us Americans who didn't vote for her, and, sorry, she fails. It's a whiny mid-tempo song that sounds like a very poor man's  "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion. Pia has an amazing voice, but she's no Celine. And at least Celine is interesting because she pounds her chest and has a foreign accent -- Pia's about as entertaining as that pretty vase your mom won't let you near in the living room.

The single is blah at best, dentist's-office-easy-listening-waiting-room-soundtrack at worst, and likely only tolerable if you haven't yet had your first period.

First of all, let's start with what sounds like a harpsichord opening (which reminds me of a Renaissance Faire) that leads into the first, grammatically incorrect, lazily rhymed first lines: I'm mad as hell, ain't gonna take it no more/My bags is packed at the back of your door.

Really. You couldn't say "any more" or "are packed." Really Pia. Really. Honestly. Really. Come on. Really. I mean. Honestly.

The rest of the song, which you can choose to suffer through or not, is a poor excuse for a woman's-survival anthem about a bad breakup. It sounds tinny, over-produced, and forced. Pia's voice is great, as always, but remember that was never our problem with her on Idol. She's a great singer and she's so pretty! But she's just ... not memorable or exciting or charismatic. And neither is this song.

And why she decided to listen to the judges now is beyond me. All season they were all, "sing something other than a ballad!" and NOW she decides to do something mid-tempo?! Dumb. She should've come out with a ballad -- that's what she's "known" for and what she's amazing at -- not this.

The song was written by Ester Dean who also wrote "S&M" and "Rude Boy" for Rihanna. Maybe Pia's next single will be something on par with those pop hits, but "This Time" falls short, if not abysmally short.

God. What should Simon say?!

What do you think of the song?

LISTEN to "This Time" by Pia Toscano:

 

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