LA Throws Will & Kate a D-List Party Fit for a Commoner

Nicole Fabian-Weber

william and kateIn just one day, Prince William and Kate Middleton will touch down on California soil, and holy tea and crumpets, do I wish I still lived there.

During my almost 10 years of residing in Los Angeles, I had my fair share of celebrity encounters. I shopped for Cetaphil with David Spade, had weird voicemails left to me by Jamie Kennedy (don't ask), and shared a laugh with Brad Pitt. Okay, we didn't share a laugh, but he walked by me. Nonetheless, I've seen stars. But, nothing -- nothing -- would thrill me more than a chance (alright forced, borderline illegal) meeting with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

So, let me just say: This list of celebs that are going to get to hang out with them while they're there? It leaves something to be desired. Zac Efron? Really, Universe?

In addition to taking one of those requisite tours of stars' homes on a double decker bus, the royal couple is planning on attending BAFTA's "Brits to Watch" on Saturday, and naturally, it's going to be full-to-the-brim with celebrities. Who will be there to rub elbows with Wills and Kate? To name a few  ...

Nicole Kidman, Dana Delany, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Zac Efron, Jack Black, Judd Apatow, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Barbra Streisand, Jason Bateman, Zooey Deschanel, Maria Bello, and Derek Hough.

Alright, a few of these celebrities I understand meeting William and Kate. They're talented, intelligent, have really made a name for themselves in their craft, and are all around classy people. Nicole Kidman, Tom Hanks, Barbra Streisand. But others -- not mentioning names -- w-w-what are they doing paling around with royalty? Would the Queen really approve of her grandson and his wife yucking it up with people who make movies about farts? Or people who shake their ass on reality TV? Again, not mentioning names.

Maybe I'm just jealous, though, guys. I want to meet Prince William and Duchess Catherine. I want to know the secrets to her shiny hair tell her what an admirable job she's done thus far. I want to say something kind of, sort of amusing that makes her laugh and then realize I'm just the kind of person who's been missing from her brand new life. And then she'll invite me on the last legs of their trip and we'll gossip like two gals from Sex and the City the entire time. And Wills will be all, "You guys, shut up. You're always giggling. Enough already." Then we'll be quiet. But after a few moments, one of us will glance at the other and we'll both burst into a fit of laughter once more.

Then again, I'll always have David Spade.

Are you excited for William and Kate's California Dreams Tour?


Image via Chris Jackson/Flickr

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