'Real Housewives of the Bible' Make Other Housewives Look Sane

Julie Ryan Evans

DelilahDelilahConfession: I honestly don't think there is one episode of The Real Housewives of any city that I've ever missed. Even through painful Miami and dull D.C., as sad as it may be, I watched them all. There's a new one about to launch next month, however, that sounds beyond awful, and I have NO intention of watching -- The Real Housewives of the Bible.

No disrespect to the Bible, but the idea behind this show is just awful. Actually, if it was an SNL skit or Bravo was behind it, and Alexis Bellino was starring in it, it could be awesome, but as it is, it just seems atrocious.

It's being produced by Ty Adams, an Internet evangelist who believes she can teach women lessons about how to be a good wife. Rather than a series, it's actually going straight to a two-part DVD (phew, or I might be tempted to tune in). She blames the other housewives for many of women's problems today and told CNN:

I was frustrated with what I was seeing. A lot of society is looking towards programming to educate them on relationships and these shows haven't effectively done that. They have ruined and tainted our ability to secure good relationships and to make women into good wives.

While her way seems about as logical as using a Casey Anthony parody to teach women how to be good parents, she seems to think it will work. The series features characters based on women of the Bible and their issues -- Sarah (infertility), Delilah (gold digger), and, of course, Jezebel. Through them she will teach them things like "women’s obligation to attempt to sustain relationships that have endured extra-marital affairs and other hardships." Hear that cheating men of the world? Rush to buy your wife her copy now.

Oh, and for all of you out there who haven't been able to land a man yet, well, she has lessons in there for you too. Adams told CNN:

Many single women can get a man but they can’t keep a man. So many singles have been in girlfriend status for so long that they only understand that mentality. They don’t know what it takes to be a good wife in order to sustain a relationship and some parts of society promotes that.

Honestly, the lessons the REAL Real Housewives deliver might actually be a step above this backward, misogynistic thinking. And how on earth they didn't think to get Alexis Bellino to star in this thing is beyond me!

Would you watch The Real Housewives of the Bible?

Image via zeeweez/Flickr

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