Sarah Jessica Parker Tops List of Highest-Paid, Cheesiest Actresses

Linda Sharps

How much money do you think Sarah Jessica Parker made between May 2010 and May 2011? Like about 10 bucks, right? Since Did You Hear About the Morgans was clearly a putrid, festering piece of crap, surely equally as brain-stabbingly bad as her previous cinematic turdfest Failure to Launch?

WRONG. Sarah Jessica Parker raked in $30 million last year, putting her right next to Angelina Jolie in a tie for being the highest paid actress in Hollywood. Thanks to those Sex and the City residuals and her ongoing perfume sales, SJP is making some serious bank these days.

Can you guess who else is at the top of the Forbes list? Let me give you a hint: if you're leaning towards insanely talented women who take on risky, challenging roles, you're way off.

Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon both made about $28 million during that May 2010-May 2011 timeframe, with Julia Roberts following closely in fifth place at $20 million. Some of the other familiar names at the top of the list: Katherine Heigl, Cameron Diaz, and Sandra Bullock.

You know, I always wonder why certain actresses take on so many stupendously terrible rom-coms, but I guess the answer's kind of a two-syllable no-shitter: ka-ching. As obnoxious and unwatchable as I may find something like, oh, say, Life as We Know It, obviously there are plenty of folks who disagree, since Katherine freaking Heigl reportedly commands an average of $12 million per picture these days.

Which is fine, different strokes for different folks, I'm sure she works really hard for OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE STOP GIVING THAT CRAPPY ACTRESS SO MUCH MONEY.

Ahem. Anyway, it's not an entirely unjust world, as Meryl Streep is on the list with her $10 million paycheck. I just won't dwell on the fact that she made $8 million less than Cameron Diaz.

Where's Ellen Page, Saoirse Ronan, Thora Birch, Maggie Gyllenhaal, etc.? They're on a completely different list, where the talent is bigger, but the paychecks are much, much smaller.

Are you surprised by any of the names on the Forbes list?

Image via Flickr/david_shankbone

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