'Teen Mom' Recap: Revealing the Biggest Baby

Jeanne Sager

Teen Mom grown upAccording to the math, the premiere of Season 3 of Teen Mom should have shown America adult versions of the four girls we met on the first season of MTV's reality series 16 & Pregnant. But if the first two seasons taught us anything, it's that the emphasis in this series' title is on the "teen" rather than the "mom." And with boob jobs and boyfriends on their agendas, the girls didn't fail to disappoint us all over again with their childish antics.

The prize for worst priorities goes to Farrah Abraham for telling the cameras that raising baby Sophia is expensive, only to take out a loan for a breast augmentation anyway because "before I had Sophia, I had way more boobs." I'll call it right now: this was a disappointment. Farrah showed a lot of growth in season two, as she cut out her busy dating schedule in favor of spending time with Sophia and re-connecting with the family of her little girl's late father. She was acting not just like a mom but an adult. But lying in a bed at her parents' house, yelling at her Dad as he tries to juggle caring for Sophia and helping her deal with the painful aftermath of implant surgery, it looks like the old Farrah is back, and she's a bigger baby than any of the tots.

Of course even old Farrah couldn't hold a candle to the season two disaster Amber Portwood, violent toward boyfriend Gary and often indifferent to daughter Leah (if not downright verbally abusive to the tot). The villain of this iteration of MTV's reality parenting genre still hasn't finished high school, she's dating a guy who even she says is "still in his partying stage," and she's sneaking off behind the new boyfriend's back to meet up with Gary. She's far from traveling a sainted path. But showing up for counseling sessions with Gary and talking with friends about what's right for Leah, at least Portwood puts on a good show of "family first" to intro us to a season that's expected to catch up with the news reports of Child Protective Service intervention and law enforcement entanglements.

Sadly the show's favorite, Catelynn Lowell, whose daughter Carly was adopted by a couple who keeps Lowell informed of the child's development, didn't play much better. Despite her struggles to cope with the loss of her child, Catelynn and menschy boyfriend Tyler Baltierra have been the "good ones," the kids we all were rooting for. But to find out neither has completed high school because they let their grades slip, then to watch them put moving in together ahead of getting their education straightened out, you have to wonder just how aware these kids are of the opportunities their path has afforded them. They don't have the same burdens as their fellow teen parents, but they're making the same mistakes.

The good news is Maci Bookout, uber mom among the teen set, remains the exception that proves the rule about the problem with teen parenting. She is not a perfect parent, but she's pretty darn close. Back with boyfriend Kyle, who said he couldn't stand to be away from her and son Bentley, she isn't shy about ensuring ex-boyfriend Ryan keeps up with his child support payments for their son. And she's mature enough to tell Kyle that he has to meet Ryan if he plans to stay in Bentley's life, for the child's sake.

It's just the beginning of the new season, but previews forecast custody battles and child protective services getting involved. Looks like the girls will have to figure out how to stop acting like babies and put their babies first, lest they lose them.

Are you getting tired of these moms acting like over-sized kids? Did you expect they'd have matured by now?


Image via MTV

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