This will come as a shock to some of my colleagues, but if given the choice, I would take an invite to Kate Moss and Jamie Hince's wedding over one to the royal wedding. Suck it, Duchess Catherine. (Just kidding. I love you. Please, take me places.)
One, I've been obsessed with the supermodel since her days of trashing hotel rooms with Johnny Depp. And two, it's going to make every other wedding -- including the aforementioned royal -- look like an ashram.
Kate is nothing if not wild. Love her or hate her, you can't help but be fascinated. She does things the average human would look like a lunatic doing. And she makes them look kinda bad ass. Dangling backwards out of a hotel window while her boyfriend strums a guitar? Check. Refusing to utter a single word after she was caught snorting lines of cocaine in a music studio? Check. Not giving an eff that she's going to catch serious slack for wearing a John Galliano wedding dress? Check. Of course her wedding is going to be epic.
I wait with bated breath for photos from the event (and her dress!) to be released, but until then, all I have is speculation. And who doesn't love some good old-fashioned speculation? Here are a few things I think we can expect to see at the Moss-Hince nuptials.
Super fah-shionable guests. Obvious? Of course. But which '90s catwalk dynamos will be in the audience when Kate says "I do"? Off the top of my head, I'd say fellow fierce bitch Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Claudia Schiffer, Iman, and Helena Christiansen, to name a few. Kate's mane man, James Brown, will surely be seated front row at the event, along with Hince's bandmate from The Kills, Alison Mosshart. Oh, yeah, and Kate's daughter, Lila Grace. Always forget she has one of those.
"Mirrored" tables. Yes, the fashion set is keen on constantly checking their reflections out, but these mirrored tables will be there for another reason, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Sure, they can be perceived a bit "'80s coke dealer," but really, that's only when you put them next to a leather couch and a dude who's wearing nothing but his underwear and an open bathrobe. Kate will make them work.
Champagne in the bathroom. Maybe you did this at your wedding. It's an awfully nice gesture -- guests can go in to touch up their makeup and they'll come out one glass drunker. That's not what I mean by champagne in the bathroom, though. I envision literally a bath room at Kate's wedding -- a room with five or six bathtubs all filled to the brim with Dom P. and Cristal. How else do you expect these people to get clean?
A late-night drunken musician fight. Let's not forget this is Jamie's wedding, too. I imagine tons of his musician friends will attend -- and you know what happens when you combine booze and pasty singer-songwriters. Nobody understands them even more.
An even later night drunk and unshaven Pete Doherty appearance. You didn't think Kate's former flame was going to give up without a fight, did you?
What do you expect to see at Kate Moss's super fabulous wedding?
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