I'm sick and tired of all the rumors about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart being on the verge of a breakup. Another day, another article saying the couple is finally going to call it quits ... or take a break ... or spend some time apart. And that gives us hope. Sure, it's delusional hope, like we actually think that means we have a shot at RPatz now? Or maybe it's just the satisfaction of knowing that if he breaks up with her, she's not that perfect after all and we like ourselves a little more. Whatever the juvenile motive, it's still hope.
But then the next day, the two are spotted playing cuddle bunny at some trendy vegan sushi place and all bets are off again.
Well I'm not the only one who's sick of all the false promises -- the Teen Choice Awards people are sick of it too. And they have just done something absolutely ingenious to finally ensure the breakup of KStew and RPatz once and for all.
The Teen Choice Awards snubbed Stewart as a nominee for Choice Female Hottie. Yup, it's true. Her boyfriend gets a nomination -- as does Taylor Lautner -- but not her. How humiliating. How does this pave the way for that relationship to crumble like a day-old muffin?
First of all, we're talking Teen Choice Awards here. The people actually running the awards show may not technically be teens themselves, but they certainly think like them. They have to in a job that pits Oscar-winning movies like Black Swan against The Roommate. Take a mind wander back to your own teen days. This is what teens do best -- they say and do nasty things behind their friends' backs for no good reason other than because they feel like it.
The fact that KStew snubbed the Teen Choice people herself last year by not showing up with Rob at the awards didn't help matters. Strike One. Then all those appearances and really bad jokes at other awards shows in the last year. Strike Two.
Now consider who DID get nominated for Choice Female Hottie. Clue: They are all long-haired brunettes! What a jab.
Selena Gomez, the Biebs' woman. What is she, 12?
Nina Dobrev, a Vampire Diaries beauty -- touche!
Minka Kelly, a hot Charlie's Angel.
Mila Kunis, a much hotter and happier version of Kristen Stewart.
And finally ... Kim Kardashian!
Choice Male and Female Hottie is like Prom King and Queen -- could you honestly picture both Pattinson AND Kardashian winning the title this year? Just some of the images that might immediately float through your mind of them together in any sort of a couple way? Hilarz.
Like a catfight in the girls' locker room after practice, I can't wait to watch the show on Fox on August 7. Let's hope Kristen even bothers to show up; otherwise, judging by some of the actors and productions up for awards this year, it might not be worth it.
Are you happy or sad that Kristen Stewart wasn't nominated for Choice Hottie -- or anything?
Image via Splash News