'Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: Guns, Pizza, & TMI in the Catskills

Nicole Fabian-Weber
5

Teresa Giudice
Teresa Giudice toting a gun
Tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was a delectable mix of drama and light-heartedness, heavy on the light-heartedness. But like any good Bravo show, it started with the dramz.

The episode began where last week's ended -- with Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga talking. Although captivating, it was annoying to witness. Both women -- especially Melissa -- are so ... hard-headed, to put it nicely.

Whether it's because she wants her family back together or because she seriously hates dealing with confrontation, Teresa obviously just wants to put an end to all the arguing. During "the talk," numerous times she said things like: "It takes two." "Can we please put this behind us?" "I'm at fault, but so are you."

Not Melissa, though.

I don't understand her. I have never seen or met anyone who thinks she's less at fault (about everything in life) than Melissa. Except maybe Danielle Staub. And Ramona Singer

Melissa would not cop to anything! Every time it looked like they were making a little headway, Melissa would sit back in her chair like a queen and be all, "You're going to need to change, Teresa." I mean, sure change would do Teresa good, but does Melissa really think she's the picture of well-adjusted-ness? She's delusional!

Whatever, the talk ended with the two women hugging and each promising to make an effort. Although that doesn't seem very likely since a few scenes later Melissa was talking smack about Teresa and their convo to her sister. And she also took the opportunity to mention how much more money she and her husband have than Teresa and hers. Not that it's a contest or anything. Stay classy, Melissa.

Now for the light-heartedness.

The gang (Teresa, Joe, Jacqueline, her husband Chris, Caroline, Albie, and Chris) all went to the Catskills for the weekend, and boy did things get ... wasted.

On their first night there, everybody was sitting around, drinking wine and yucking it up as one should on a vacay, when all of a sudden the conversation turns to ... fellatio. Joe, aristocrat that he is, was basically complaining to Jacqueline and Chris that Teresa isn't good at, well, you know.

Um, what?! First of all, I don't need to hear that. Second of all, way to disrespect your wife. Gross! Didn't look like Teresa's cared about her business being out there, though, as she brought a vibrating ring that Joe apparently puts around his wenis when they have sex to her confessional. We get it, you guys are still hot and heavy for one another. That's great. Now can you stop overcompensating and just keep the bedroom antics ... in the bedroom? Thanks.

And of course no weekend in the country would be complete without a little gun shooting. Interesting factoid: The only thing scarier than Teresa Giudice with a gun is her husband, Joe. Not because he doesn't have excellent aim (he does), because he is trigger happy as a mofo. So, let's see, in addition to telling the world he's unsatisfied with his wife's "performance," he likes to shoot everything in site. Nope, no insecurity going on there. 

Then there was the pizza cook off. It was Joe, Teresa, and Jacqueline who entered the "contest." Who do you think won? Go on, guess. Nope, you're wrong! It was actually Jacqueline who won with her Nutella pizza!

The gang ended their weekend with a trip to a local bar. And in case you were wondering, yes, they stuck out like sore thumbs. As Teresa put it -- in her white furry boots, "It was like 5th Avenue invaded the Catskills." Not exactly the analogy I'd use, but you get the picture.

All in all, it was a fun episode to watch, one that even caught my husband's gaze for full minutes at a time. In a series that's always so full of drama and mean-ness, it was nice to see the ladies of New Jersey simply let loose. To my surprise, it showed me that good, clean fun can almost be as fun to watch as nasty cat fights. Almost.

What did you think of the episode? What did you think of Melissa and Teresa's talk?

 

Image via Bravo

 

 

Read More