'Real Housewives of New York' Recap: Party Trashers

Julie Ryan Evans
9

Ramona SingerIt was party time tonight for The Real Housewives of New York with a trio of celebratory events. Of course, instead of just being your average fun-filled occasions for friends and family to gather, they became opportunities for the ladies to bash and compete with one another. Not that they need a party to do that, but one certainly peps things up.

First, it was a surprise birthday party for the freshly face-lifted Jill Zarin. (Was it really necessary that we see the needles enter her skin and the blood ooze?) LuAnn de Lesseps and Cindy Barshop threw it for her, though Ramona acted like she did. Then Ramona proceeded to complain about the space, the seating, and everything else about the party before donning a red wig and making fun of the guest of honor (Bobby my diamonds aren't big enough!). 

As much as Jill may have deserved it (just moments earlier she was all, "look what Bobby bought me! as she blinded everyone with the bling), it was out of line. Ramona should have just paid more attention to those magicians. By the way, what was with those lame pushy magicians?

Then it was on to the not-so-sweet-16 birthday parties. Ramona planned one for her daughter, Avery, and her "elite group of friends" on the same day LuAnn planned one for her daughter, Victoria. Oops. LuAnn, who was adamant about not having an over-the-top shindig, ended up hosting a party at a New York nightclub complete with fire eaters, circus performers spinning from the ceiling, and violinists. Such an understated event.

Ramona hosted Avery's unapologetically over-the-top party (or what was supposed to be Avery's party) in a loft, which was just made to look like a nightclub (a nightclub with beds!), because Ramona thinks hosting a party for a 16-year-old in a "real" club sends a bad message. Never mind the fact that she almost had a nervous breakdown when her booze was a little late arriving. Wonder what kind of message her little pinot grigio problem is sending, hmm?

When Jill, Kelly Bensimon, and Sonja Morgan (who is still unsure if she's broke or not even after Jill brought in her attorney sister to explain things to her) arrived at Avery's party after departing Victoria's, Ramona couldn't grill them enough about the details of Victoria's party and was very much in competition mode, nor could she remove herself and her friends from what was supposed to be her daughter's party. Jill concluded the party wasn't about Avery but about Ramona "impressing her fancy friends," but Jill was really more concerned about the horrifying absence of napkins than anything else.

The best thing about Jill is her husband, Bobby Zarin. I adore Bobby and his quirky, mysterious, mobster vibe. If I were Simon van Kempen (and thank God I'm not for oh so many reasons!), I would have been mighty scared when Bobby confronted him in the final minutes of the show. He started out with "peace and love" then moved on to pretty aggressively question Simon about a hate site (presumably against Jill) he heard he was actively involved in. While Simon denied it, he looked guilty as hell.

Previews for next week look like one big attack on Simon. Can't wait, as I can't stand him. Let's hope it's more exciting than this week's episode, which, if we're being honest, was kind of a snooze.

To borrow a question from Andy Cohen, which of the New York housewives would you like as your mother -- Jill, Ramona, LuAnn, Alex, Sonja, or Cindy?


Image via bravotv.com

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