Being Justin Bieber Is a Dangerous Job

Linda Sharps
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Tragic news today involving Justin Bieber, folks. During a promotional event at the Macy's store in Manhattan’s Herald Square, Bieber stepped outside to greet fans and was immediately attacked by an unidentified middle-aged man. Apparently the guy jumped over a police barricade and knocked Bieber to the ground, at which point security grabbed the attacker and ushered Bieber back into the store.

Luckily, Bieber suffered only minor injuries, while the deranged fan was taken into custody and issued a summons for disorderly conduct.

There's been no word on what prompted the attack, although considering the fact that Bieber was promoting his new cologne "Someday," I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the man was shouting, "IT'S A VAGINA! A VAGINA! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS?"


Ahem. I'm just saying.

Anyway, it turns out this isn't Justin Bieber's first time experiencing harm as a result of his supernova fame level. The poor kid has been banged up a number of times now by a number of dangerous attackers, including the following:


An egg. Correction: six eggs.
While performing at the Acer Arena in Sydney, Australia, Bieber was attacked with "six eggs from two directions." Afterwards, an extremely dedicated and unintentionally hilarious fan wrote on Twitter: "Dear person who threw eggs at @justinbieber in Sydney, you now have over #9millionbeliebers after you, be afraid! We go harder than hard!"

A water bottle. Bieber was singing for Sacramento radio station E107.9’s December Jingle Ball when he stopped to thank his fans for coming down to the venue, at which point a water bottle, thrown by someone from the crowd, hit him in the head. “Ow, that didn’t feel good,” Justin reportedly cried.


A revolving door. While trying to exit a German hotel, Bieber crashed directly into the glass of an automatic revolving door. A deeply amusing video shows Bieber trying to push the automatic door but instead smacking his forehead against the glass. "Ouch! I just walked into that door ... my forehead hurts ... I walked right into the window," he told reporters.


A 12-year-old laser tag player. A laser tag game in Vancouver went bad when a 12-year-old boy cornered Bieber during the game, "shooting" him repeatedly. When Bieber asked him to stop, the boy apparently used a gay slur, prompting Bieber to later speak out against teen bullying.


A rogue hacker. An anonymous hacker referring to themselves as Pkinj0r-aka-Prokill broke into Selena Gomez's Twitter account in January in order to post the following message: "Oh yeh, JUSTIN BIEBER SUCKS!!!!!!" Thankfully Gomez regained control of her account 30 minutes later and assured fans she still, like, totally had Bieber Fever.


Oh, when will the violence against Justin Bieber end? It makes me worry about what's going to come after him next. A cucumber? An old lady? An angry raccoon? My god, it could be anything. THERE'S NO WAY OF KNOWING.



Images via Flickr/cukuskumir, Amazon

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