Dear J. Lo,
Don't go. Please don't go. Since your love don't cost a thing, I won't try to bribe you with pretty bracelets and fancy shoes, I'll just lay it on out there. If you leave American Idol, I'll be sad. Sad, I say! I hear you're on the fence about whether or not to return as a judge, and my poor heart cannot stand the thought of your pretty face not being on that panel.
We Idol fans have been through enough already and I don't think we could handle more change. If you leave, who would replace you? The only acceptable answer would be either me or Robyn. Everyone else would suck. See? We need you! Steven, on the other hand, is totally expendable.
I meeeeeeeeeean, I love Steven and all but he was so lame on the show. I know you agree. I saw you roll your eyes a few times. You and Ryan (and of course, the contestants) are the reason we watch. You're approachable but totally inaccessible and that's why we love you. Oh, and you both are gorg.
Jenny, you make us happy. Sure, you could step up your honesty and hand out some constructive criticism, but I don't want to get into that. Is your $12 million-dollar paycheck too little? Is that it? Don't be whiner. Be a winner, J. Lo, and stay on the show.
The contestants clearly adore you -- I know you've got to be really involved behind the scenes mentoring the young ones. Don't you like helping kids? Why do you want to stop helping these teens, Jennifer?
If you leave, everyone will suffer. The viewers, the singers, the advertisers. You'd let us all down. We love you and want you to stay. You bring life to the panel, and flawless skin. Don't take that away from us.
Do you want J. Lo to stay or go?
Photo via americanidol.com