With more hairspray and surgically enhanced breasts than you'd think it possible for two couches to hold, the ladies from The Real Housewives of Orange County regrouped to rehash what happened this past season and update us on what's happened since. A few tough questions were asked and accusations were thrown, but no one actually got up off said couches, so it was a relatively tame affair.
The most memorable line of the night was a zinger Tamra Barney flung at Gretchen Rossi: "Is your ass jealous of the sh&t that comes out of your mouth?" Seriously, where does she come up with these? Love her or hate her, Tamra knows how to do some verbal slamming. And slamming she did.
From blasting Alexis Bellino for the accident in which her twins' stroller rolled into a pool to accusing Gretchen Rossi of being jealous of her and bringing up the old pictures and lawsuits against Gretchen, Tamra didn't hold back -- not like she ever has. Oh the others were dishing it out as well and accusing her of all sorts of things too, but Tamra can not only take it, she then comes back even tougher.
When asked about the steamy bathtub scene with Eddie, she admitted she probably shouldn't have done it, but doesn't believe her children have seen it (as Alexis suggested). She also revealed that her children are court-ordered NOT to watch Bravo -- my total nightmare!
Prissy Vicki Gunvalson, who refuses to say the word "vagina" (but "bagina" is okay), defended the bathtub scene as being about beautiful love and not porn at all. Maybe we'll see one between her and her new man, Brooks Ayers, in the future? That's right, Vicki revealed that she has a new man, and he's keeping her love tank full.
She also got raw and real about her divorce from Donn, and actually admitted some fault in the whole matter. Andy rolled some of footage of Donn who is clearly not feeling forgiveness at this point. He said the way she treated him wasn't done with class or dignity, and Vicki actually agreed, though she didn't take full responsibility. It was all just sad and depressing, especially when Vicki revealed that Briana has turned against her.
Jesus Barbie blathered on more trying to defend her marriage to Jim and his ribs from which she grew, then started making garden analogies, and ... she's just annoying. The fact that she "just feels safer" when a man is running the country amplifies that fact exponentially. And why is it she has something to say about EVERYTHING. Aren't women supposed to be seen and not heard in HER world?
Gretchen, who was looking "so pageant" tonight, according to the all-wise Andy Cohen, defended Slade and defended her relationship with Jeff. She also bizarrely answered "yes" to the aforementioned question/slam Tamra threw at her about her mouth and her ass. Too much bleach, maybe? I gotta say she didn't do well holding her own, and Tamra pretty well trampled her, regardless of who is right in the ongoing feud.
Peggy Tanous was there, but didn't really add much other than to get in a few digs at Alexis (always welcome). Nowhere in sight was Fernanda Rocha, which I pretty much only noticed in hindsight.
While there were some heated moments, overall I'd give the drama level of the reunion's part one only about a 7 (on a 10-point scale). I was expecting a little more after last week's heated episode. There's still tomorrow night though, so we'll see if they can't crank things up a notch. Jeana Keough and Slade Smiley are going to be in the house, so I'm thinking it's likely.
What did you think of part one of The Real Housewives of Orange County reunion? What do you hope they address tomorrow night?
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