White Stripes' Divorce Party Doesn't Make Them Cool

Nicole Fabian-Weber

jack whiteThere are few things Jack White of The White Stripes/Raconteurs/The Dead Weather can do to turn me off. He's an amazing musician (who sounds equally amazing live), he's articulate, and he's pretty sexy. But this crap about him and wife -- sorry, soon-to-be-ex -- model/singer Karen Elson throwing a divorce party is some straight-up bull.

The couple, who seems to be doing this just as an act of weirdness, is holding a gathering for their closest friends, complete with formal invitations, to celebrate their upcoming divorce -- and they're doing it on their sixth anniversary. Did somebody say awkward?

I mean, what does one say at a party like this? Congratulations? Moreover, what does one bring?! Champagne seems too celebratory. Flowers seem naive. A bottle of whiskey, perhaps? Seems appropriate, but what if one of the soon-to-be-divorcees drinks too much then breaks down crying and screaming about how it was the other one's idea? Do you want that on your watch?

It's lovely that the two are vowing to remain friends, really it is, but throwing a party not only seems forced, it seems like it's going to get weird to those tragically hip enough to be invited. Are Karen's friends supposed to only hang out with Karen? Are Jack's friends only supposed to hang out with Jack? Will an all-out brawl break out by night's end, or will the evening just be filled with polite laughter and passive-aggressive jabs through smiling lips? I think this tongue-in-cheek little soiree may be funny -- if not totally fake -- to them, but downright awkward as all hell for others.

I appreciate Jack White -- and all his eccentricities (it's part of what makes him, no?) -- but a divorce party seems like a weird just-to-be-weird thing.

It's okay, though. I still love you.

What do you think of Jack White's divorce party?


Image via Splash

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