I don't know where Alex McCord fits in Sonja Morgan's whole pecking order, but poor Alex was pecked, picked at, and pretty much run over on tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New York. All she was trying to do was protect Ramona Singer, but even "the new Alex" couldn't handle the heat of Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and her posse. She was left a hive-covered, distraught mess.
Despite her distress (or perhaps partially because of it), it was honestly one of the most entertaining Real Housewives episodes I have ever seen. I laughed; I cried -- because I was laughing so hard -- and mostly I just sat there with my mouth hanging open that all this was going down. In the end, it was "just weird," as Kelly Bensimon said about one million times.
It started with Ramona and Jill Zarin still distraught over last week's big fight -- especially Ramona who was "raw" and NEEDED her pinot grigio. Like a puppy always willing to friend anyone who'll show her some affection (or at least not kick her), Alex comforted Ramona and agreed to be her "wingman."
Alex took that role seriously serious, and when LuAnn reprimanded Ramona for causing drama, Alex was ready to battle. Only she didn't do it while it was happening, rather she stewed and brewed, and after a day of fun came charging into the room where Kelly, LuAnn, and Cindy Barshop (yep, she's still on the show, though I'm not sure why) were getting henna tattoos. She tried to pull LuAnn aside from her tattoo, but LuAnn wouldn't budge, so Alex started her rant only to be mocked and slapped down by her majesty. Ramona was right when she said Alex isn't known for her timing -- takes one to know one -- but the attack on her was brutal.
The crazy just continued though when Kelly got involved, and showed us that the whole sanity thing she's been doing this season is just a front. She's as crazy as ever. Every time Alex would try to speak, she would throw out some bizarre bit of Kelly wisdom. First, she had a problem with the way Alex entered the room. "It was weird. It didn't look normal. Reenter!"
That was followed by various versions of "it was weird" and "you're being weird" over and over, plus some strange shushing sounds, and the accusation that Alex was being "inauthentic." But amidst all her peace-making attempts, Kelly was pissed about her tattoo getting effed up. "My tattoo is ruined. Who’s going to fix this, Santa? Stupid." The crazy is still most definitely there.
LuAnn just dismissed the lowly Alex with a wave, and a "go back to the cabinet you came out of. Witch." Classy. There were plenty more condescending, know-it-all comments from LuAnn (especially during the dinner that was supposed to start at 8 that no one knew about. "Alex, I know you know better than that.") as they make up about 98 percent of everything The Countess says.
Then there was Kelly telling Alex to open and close her eyes (and Alex actually obeying), and telling her she wasn't angry, she was sad (even though Alex was totally pissed). The whole thing was so bizarre, and Alex was so flustered with hives popping up by the minute, I couldn't stop laughing. That whole scene is a serious contender for best Real Housewives moments ever. It was just so ... weird.
The sad part, however, is that while Alex was being trampled for Ramona's honor, Ramona was off whooping it up with her BFF Sonja. Ramona and LuAnn made up in a nanosecond, and even Ramona and Jill ended up making peace in the end, but no one even bothered to care if Alex was still upset. Like I said, poor Alex.
In the end, the ladies all tried to make nice enough to have a few more meals together, do some belly dancing, and not kill each other in the process. The previews for next week, however, show that what happened in Morocco definitely isn't staying in Morocco, and there's more drama to come when they're back in New York.
The after-show with Andy Cohen posed the question: Which housewife is the weirdest? Good question, but I'm a little torn. I'm not sure if it's weird or annoying that I'm feeling, but I think I'd put LuAnn and Jill at the top of the list, with Sonja close behind for straight up odd.
Did you feel bad for Alex McCord tonight? Who do you think is the weirdest housewife?
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