Whatever tasks are on your plate today, be glad you're not Ja Rule. Jeffrey Atkins—AKA Ja Rule—basically had one checkbox on his to-do list this morning: "Go to courthouse, turn self over to authorities, start two-year jail sentence."
Mr. Rule was busted in 2007 when cops pulled him over for speeding and found an unlicensed, loaded, semiautomatic weapon in his car. The two year sentence is for the weapons charges, but he's got even more trouble on the horizon: he pled guilty in March to tax evasion. Who pays income taxes on $3 million? Not Ja Rule, homie.
As he checks himself into jail ("I just became mayor of a New York prison facility!"), Ja Rule has some ideas for keeping himself busy over the coming months. He told TMZ he plans to complete his GED, write a book, and learn to play guitar.
Learn to play guitar? Well, I'm slightly disappointed to hear he's not focusing on the harmonica, but still, what a great idea! I have the perfect playlist of songs for Ja Rule to master.
Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash. Come on. A jail CLASSIC.
Jailbreak, AC/DC. Hmmm, too obvious? Maybe the Thin Lizzy version, then.
Freedom, George Michael. A rapper, a guitar, a lonely spotlight … a heartbreaking ode to personal freedom and possibly one or two closeted intentions.
I Fought the Law, The Clash. And the law won. Because I was driving around with a .40-caliber semiautomatic gun like a jackass.
F*ck Tha Police, NWA. Comin straight from the underground! Of … upstate New York.
Back Door Man, The Doors. Well, this IS prison, after all. Don't drop the soap, Ja.
Hopefully Ja's time behind bars will straighten him out, because he's got three kids he's leaving behind in New Jersey. Apparently his sentence may be reduced by six months or so for good behavior, so let's hope he emerges a changed man with some newfound musical talent.
Can you think of any other prison-appropriate song suggestions for the list?
Image via JaRule.net