5 Ways Gwyneth Paltrow Will Annoy Us on Facebook and Twitter!

Jacqueline Burt Cote

gwyneth paltrowOh, happy day! At last Gwyneth Paltrow has chosen to grace the world of social networking with her divine presence! Yes, Hollywood's golden girl finally, finally created accounts on both Facebook and Twitter. Granted, her first posts on both sites are concise ("Hey this is my new Facebook page!" "This is my first Tweet!"), but each links to a brief video where Gwynnie tries to hail a cab and talks about joining "the 21st century." Brilliant, I tell you. Brilliant.

I personally can't wait for Gwyneth to really get into the status update/tweet groove, when I just know she'll fall into the TMI trap like every novice social networker! What fun it will be to watch the Oscar-winning actress learn to share details of her life in cliched little nuggets, just like the rest of us have. I can already imagine her posts:

  1. Gwyneth is sharing Yellow Melon Bushels from her Market Stall in Farmville! Gwyneth wants to share her yellow melons with you, but only if you commit to preserving their organic integrity by using them in a recipe from My Father's Daughter.
  2. OMG! Got my free iPhone today and I love it! If anyone else wants one, go here: (insert phony link to scam website) Silly Gwynnie, there's no such thing as swag in the real world! This is what we peasant folk refer to as "spam."
  3. FML!!! Delivery of fresh hake I need to make my famous fish tacos is late!! What to feed Madonna? #hatemyfishmonger What everyday mom can't relate to this dinnertime dilemma? Famous guests on the way, fishmonger is a no-show ... phew! Mama said there'd be days like this!
  4. Stuck at HKIA, flight home from Hong Kong delayed. At least shops are decent, should I pick up a spare Mac at Burberry? #jetlagsucks Good thinking, Gwyneth! Get something accomplished during that layover! It's just like when my train is running late and I spend my extra tie standing on the platform trying to put mascara on without a mirror.
  5. Gwyneth is single Should her marriage to Chris Martin ever come to an end, one swift click to Gwyneth's relationship status and the world will be alerted, no paparazzi required.

What do you expect Gwyneth Paltrow to post on Facebook and Twitter?


Image via WEBN-TV/Flickr

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