Have you ever wondered how Angelina Jolie manages to look so feminine and glamorous in every candid paparazzi shot, even the ones where she's herding a group of children like an impeccably-groomed nude-lipstick'd Border Collie? Apparently the answer lies with Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt and his manly manhood of male-enhanced masculinity, that is.
In a recent interview with Britain's The Telegraph, Jolie dished on the perfection of their relationship, describing Pitt as "a real gentleman, but also a real man's man." According to Jolie, Pitt's throbbing, barely-restrained maleness is the perfect counterpart to her own femininity.
I love being a woman. I love that I can have children. I love feeling soft, I love being with Brad, I love all the sensitivity and natural emotion.
Only the manliest of men could make Angelina Jolie look soft by comparison, people. She might be stacked, but the woman has some wicked sharp-looking elbows. Jolie went on to say that Pitt is an "extraordinary, great, loving father, a very, very intelligent man," and not only that, dude's got one hell of a disco stick.
Okay, she didn't say that exactly, but what else could she be talking about with this comment?
And physically he's a real man...in all things that it means.
BREAKING NEWS: BRAD PITT HAS A PENIS. REPEAT, BRAD PITT HAS A PENIS. PROBABLY A LARGE ONE. WE'RE NOT SURE IF SHE'S TALKING GIRTH OR LENGTH, BUT THE IMPLICATION OF IMPRESSIVE SIZE IS DEFINITELY THERE.
Seriously, what a weird thing to say. For as media-savvy as Jolie has become over the years, I'm kind of surprised she'd essentially gush to a major publication over her boyfriend's shlong, but I suppose her REAL message is: back off about our relationship, tabloids, we're doing great.
Still, kind of tacky, don't you think?
You know what I'd like to see? A follow-up interview with Jennifer Aniston, in which she releases the following statement: "Meh. Vince Vaughn's was bigger."
What do you think about the 'real man' comment? Overshare, or undershare (what, no pictures?)?
Image via Flickr/Gage Skidmore