I'm not sure what I find most interesting about the story Kara DioGuardi told George Lopez on Lopez Tonight this week.
There's the part where she was having a slumber party at Paula Abdul's house (how cute!). There's the tidbit about DioGuardi scarfing six brownies from Paula's fridge, presumably in a ravenous, Atkins-triggered haze.
Finally, there's the part where DioGuardi ended up getting so stoned from the brownies someone had to call an ambulance.
Oh yeah, and there's the thing where Paula had a bunch of ready-to-serve pot brownies. We knew it!
Okay, so the excuse is that "a friend" left the laced brownies in Paula's freezer after a party, which, whatever. Sure. Fine. Everyone totally believes that and no one is now remembering every loopy appearance of Paula's on American Idol and wondering how many brownies were consumed beforehand.
DioGuardi also gave an amusing explanation for why she ate six of them:
I hadn't really eaten much that night. There were these, little nuggets, little, you know, take six, not a lot.
Girl, it's okay. So you actually eat FOOD sometimes, big deal. You don't have to convince us how tiny they were. Here, have a cookie. GOD, JUST ONE, PORKY.
According to DioGuardi, several hours later, she started feeling the effects of the magic brownies and fell out of bed. She stumbled downstairs and presumably stood naked and disheveled in Paula's palatial living room and started raving about spaceships (I'm just filling in some of the missing details here, you're welcome), at which point someone actually called an ambulance.
Ultimately she spent three days in the hospital on an IV, hallucinating. Of her harrowing ordeal, DioGuardi says, dramatically, "I almost died."
I admit it's been a long time since I've indulged, but I can't say I remember ever being so stoned it lasted for three days. Nor can I figure why she needed an IV, unless it was an emergency measure to flush out those unseemly retained fluids caused by eating carbohydrates.
Perhaps the weirdest detail of all is why DioGuardi decided to share the story in the first place, because it mostly just makes her sound silly, while simultaneously confirming everyone's suspicions that Paula Abdul secretly likes to get baked and watch her "Opposites Attract" video over and over. Whoah, I'm dancing with a CAT.
Do you think Kara's pot-poisoning really went down the way she described?
Image via Flickr/friskytuna