Just as the new season of The Bachelorette got underway Monday night, the news broke that Emily Maynard and Brad Womack had gone belly up. It appears she even returned the ring. A few hours after that news, there was perky Ashley Hebert meeting her 25 eligible men and speaking of Brad in sad, regretful ways.
"If only I had told him I loved him," she seemed to lament again and again. And I call BS. If she had told him she loved him, then she would be ringless Monday night and Emily would be the Bachelorette. And maybe it would have been better that way.
Ashley is appealing in that cute, bubbly, smart, athletic kind of way. She is receiving her dental training at an Ivy League school (Penn), earned a 3.92 GPA in college, and has a rocking bod from years of dance (one of her minors) and a sweet smile. But she isn't a knockout, not the catch to end all catches. Just the girl next door. As usual. Doesn't this show franchise ever get tired of that?
After seasons and seasons of failure, the show did get creative by sending someone home the first night. Drunkard Tim was sent packing after he passed out on the couch and proved he wasn't "there for the right reasons" (if I hear that phrase one more time ...).
Then there was Jeff, who wore a mask reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut in some feeble attempt to get Ashley to know his soul (or some such drivel). All it really did was make him stand out as the resident freak, which is saying a lot considering the competition. There is Bentley, who was open about preferring Emily Maynard and who Hebert was told is only on the show to promote his business.
His business is a recreation center? It seemed he mentioned that quickly in passing at the beginning of the show while tooling about his heinous, unoriginal McMansion. It seems he is relatively open about his lack of interest in Ashley. So, yeah. He may be this season's "villain" (ABC has to pique our interest somehow), but he is in no way worse than 90 percent of the losers who go on these shows. They just don't admit it.
One of the biggest mysteries of the night was Ames. Why would a Harvard/Yale/Columbia educated Wall Street finance guy have any interest in going on ABC to compete for the "love" of one woman? And by "love" I mean 10 minutes of fame, a public breakup, and a life lived in the discarded portion of US Weekly. He wouldn't.
Something is amiss with Ames. There is another motive. I'm just not sure what it is.
So, Ashley, it seems Brad is single now. Maybe he was a safer bet, after all, than the clowns filling the room on this season.
What did you think of the new season?
Image via ABC