First things first: we're going to talk finale spoilers here, so if you're waiting on the DVR'd version of last night's show, here's your chance to click elsewhere.
However, if you watched any of this season's Survivor, it should be fairly obvious who took home the million dollars. And there lies the trouble with this season—it was never really a good fight. Boston Rob dominated the whole way through, spearheading the cringe-worthy one-by-one elimination of the Zapatera tribe, holding together his alliance until the bitter end, and even winning a final immunity challenge just when he needed it the most.
Earlier on in the game, I kept wondering how Rob expected anyone on the jury to vote for him if he made it to the final three. Not because his wife Amber had already won the same prize, but because he'd systematically eliminated all of their sorry asses.
As it turned out, his strategy was impeccable: nearly everyone voted for him because who the hell else were you going to vote for?
He was sitting there with the two people out of the whole game who, if they were the only choices, would have forced the jury to shrug and say, jesus, I really have to flip a coin on this one.
I mean, you had Philip, who may have had a few undercurrents of sanity but was mostly crazier than a sack full of nap-deprived 2-year-olds. And you had Natalie, who ... well, bless her confused little heart, it's a good thing she's pretty.
After so many interviews where he got weepy with the camera over how badly he wanted to win, I'm actually really glad Rob pulled it off. In a season that was mostly ho-hum, he was consistently entertaining to watch, and there's no doubt he outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted absolutely everyone else.
Some final thoughts:
• I wish this marked the end of the Redemption Island concept, because YAWN. What a dragged-out distraction, and how anticlimactic was it for Matt to endure a month on the island and win like 50 duels (*high-fives God*) only to lose to Andrea (*nods ruefully, acknowledges God's master plan*)? Who got back in the game then promptly got booted back out?
• However, big yay for ditching that thing they always did where the final three go around in a boat remembering their previous tribemates. Did anyone not fast-forward through that scene? "This introspective journey will help you focus on what you've learned and reflect on past team—" ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop.
• So is it just me, or do the women always look worse in the reunion show? I mean, I get that you want to show the world what you look like without sand fleas, but damn. Tone down the porn makeup, ladies.
• Lastly: Hot Grant is significantly less hot with suspenders. Sad trumpet.
What did you think of the finale, and this season overall?
Image via CBS