Poor Mariah Carey—her twins aren't even two weeks old and someone's already dissing her parenting skills.

While most of us are familiar with the myriad forms of "helpful advice" thrown our way during those hazy newborn days ("Shouldn't he be wearing socks?" "My baby slept through the night from the day she was born!"), new parents Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have experienced the worst possible form of drive-by criticism: someone actually called Child Protective Services on them.

Specifically, the anonymous caller said Mariah had been abusing alcohol and drugs in the hospital after the twins were born. Which is insane, right? It turns out she was just having a beer, on the advice of her nurses.

Wait, what? Man, after my C-sections I got a glass of ice water and stern instructions to inform someone when I was passing gas. Lame.

According to Cannon, one of the nurses told Carey to drink a small amount dark Guinness to "make the breast milk come out." While being drunk might explain how she came up with the names Moroccan and Monroe for her twins, it doesn't exactly sound like she was holding a kegger in her hospital room. However, someone apparently caught sight of Carey having a swig, and decided that warranted a call to CPS.

Because people. Are. Crazy.

I have to say, though, it also sounds a little crazy that a nurse prescribed Guinness to help Carey's milk supply. While Cannon insists, vaguely, that Guinness "improves the yeast for breastfeeding or the yeast improves breastfeeding," experts say this is a wives' tale. In fact, while researches currently say that prolactin (a hormone that aids milk production) does increase with alcohol consumption, oxytocin (a hormone that's responsible for milk letdown) actually decreases.

Nonalcoholic beer has been shown to have the same prolactin-boosting effect, so you'd think Carey's nurse would have advised quaffing an O'Doul's or something.

Or, you know, provided some of the many other non-beer-related suggestions for increasing milk supply.

Happily for the new parents, the Child Protective Services agent who came for a visit decided that the call was ridiculous and there was nothing to be worried about. Personally I don't think it's even remotely a big deal that Mariah Carey had a beer while she was breastfeeding, but you know someone set up the CPS call just to make a buck with the tabloids. Next time, Mariah, maybe wait until you get home before cracking a brewski.

Do you think it's weird Mariah Carey's nurse told her to drink Guinness, or did you get similar advice?

Image via MariahCarey.com