The moment that everyone has been waiting for has arrived. No, it's not the Royal Wedding. Who cares about that nonsense? And negatory if you're thinking about Osama bin Laden. Yawn. The momentous occasion that's had everyone on the edge of their IKEA love seats that I speak of is Charlie Sheen's replacement has finally been cast on the totally new and fresh CBS sitcom, Two and a Half Men. And it's Ashton Kutcher?
What the heckity heck heck heck? Ashton Kutcher? Dude, Where's My Car, Michael Kelso, You Just Got Punk'd, Demi Moore-loving Ashton Kutcher? That Ashton Kutcher? That's a terrible choice, if I do say so myself, and here are five actors that would have been much better suited.
Hugh Grant. Rumors were abounding the past few days that the dry-humoured Brit was going to replace Sheen in the series. Hugh would have been way better than Ashton because A) he's actually a good actor, and B) he's around the same age as Jon Cryer (and the majority of people who watch the show). The idea of young, surfer dude Ashton barging in to Alan's house, lobster burrito in hand, seems ... like a comedy sketch within a comedy sketch.
Emilio Estevez. Double-edged scandal! It would be the ultimate FU to his brother, but how many people would be tuning in to watch that? More than to watch Ashton.
John Stamos. I mean, can you get a more age-appropriate "playboy" type actor than this? Stamos is the perfect replacement for Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. And for some crazy reason, the ladies find him somewhat attractive. I have no idea why.
Matt Dillon. Matt Dillon! Why not, right? He's not really up to much these days, and he's a delightful mixture of "sort of player-ish" and funny. And he would be very grateful for the role.
Nathan Lane. Random, I know, but if you're going to go sketch-within-sketch, why not go balls to the wall? Couldn't you just see Nathan entering the "Malibu house" with a flourish, proclaiming, "I'm he-re!" It would be a totally different show. But maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing.
Who do you think would be a good replacement for Charlie Sheen?
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