Sounds like it's a done deal—the "actor" that's officially on board to replace Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men is none other than ... Ashton Kutcher.
And I didn't think there was any way to make that sitcom sound less appealing. I should have had more faith! Bravo, Chuck Lorre.
Don't get me wrong, I find Ashton Kutcher to be a very attractive man, at least when he's cleaned up and not wearing a trucker hat. As Neil Patrick Harris tweeted, "Ashton's replacing Charlie? Good times! CBS shindigs just got much easier on the eyes ..."
The problem is when he opens his mouth. Or tries to act. I mean, My Boss's Daughter? What Happens in Vegas? Spread? No Strings Attached? Dude, where's your A-list career? Oh right, you married into it.
Any of the rumored Sheen replacements—Hugh Grant, Rob Lowe, John Stamos, and Jeremy Piven—would have been a coup compared to Kutcher. (Piven especially. Can you imagine if they had brought him on as an Ari Gold type?) It sounds like Lorre wasn't necessarily looking for a guy with a lot of talent, though. Deadline reports that Lorre's primary objective was finding someone that would be easy to work with, after years of butting heads with Charlie Sheen.
Studio execs were reportedly hoping to nab an A-lister, "an exciting actor who'd never done TV before," but ... well, yeah, they got Kutcher. Veteran dimwit of That '70s Show, and of course Punk'd.
The thing that seems odd to me is that Kutcher's been dabbling as a producer since his Punk'd days, and he's got this enormous following on Twitter—two things I would view as red flags if I were Chuck Lorre and looking for an actor who's going to obediently toe the line and not require a lot of publicity handling.
Then again, maybe Kutcher's just had so much money dumped at his feet, he'll do whatever they say. Sort of like how I envision his relationship with Demi Moore. (HEY-oh!)
Here's his Twitter acknowledgment of the new role:
Can't you just picture him working this one out with a calculator ahead of time? Adorable.
Does Ashton Kutcher make you want to tune in to the new Two and a Half Men?
Image via Flickr/David_Shankbone