Steven Hirsch, Vivid Entertainment head honcho, couldn't be serious when he made Pippa Middleton an offer -- of $5 million! -- to star in an adult film.
Apparently the dirt-bag businessman sent Pippa a letter that stated:
As far as I am concerned, you were the star of the recent Royal Wedding. As I watched a broadcast of the event I couldn't help but think that with your beauty and attitude you could be an enormously successful adult star.
First of all, I love the idea of Hirsch sitting alone on a leather sofa somewhere in the valley, wearing a bathrobe, eating Cheerios out of the box, watching the Royal Wedding (hey, in my mind he's a combination of The Dude and an '80s coke dealer). Second of all, does Hirsch live in a world where it's perpetually Opposite Day?
I think the world's -- and clearly Hirsch's -- fascination with Pippa not only came from her undeniable loveliness, but from her charm and class. She quietly and gracefully helped big sis out on her wedding day, and our love affair was born. How the crap would these qualities make Pippa an "enormously successful adult star"?
Part of me has to think Hirsch can't be totally serious. I mean, obviously if Pippa accepted this ludicrous offer, he'd jump at it. But does Steven, a person who must know a thing or two about business, really believe Pippa is going to do porn? We haven't heard a peep from the girl since the big day. Does it seem likely that her next move is going to be getting down on all fours with "the partner of her choice," as he so kindly put it? She's summered with Prince William, for chrissake!
Which brings me to my next point: Her sister, you know, that crazy ol' Duchess of Cambridge, is going to be the Queen of England one day! Do you think even if Pippa gave this insane-o proposition one nanosecond of a thought, the royals would allow it, dear Steven? Pfft. You must really not know the way we they work!
What do you think of the Pippa Middleton porno proposition?
Image via Pascal Le Segretain/Getty