Sonja Morgan took it as her responsibility on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New York to enlighten Cindy Barshop and the world about the "pecking order" of the housewives' social circle. Yes, she used those words, and yes, she was serious. My DVR, which I rewound countless times to look for hints of humor in her voice, holds proof there was none.
Sonja was just as pretentious and condescending as it sounds, and Barshop was justifiably baffled by it. Sonja let her know that she fell down more than a few rungs too when she made some of the ladies trek to Quogue (gasp!) for her birthday party. Then she chastised Cindy for making the incredible, unforgivable gaffe of not having pinot grigio on hand when Ramona Singer arrived (quelle horreur!).
"No one would be there or know you if it wasn't for Ramona. There’s a pecking order, and if Ramona singer walks into your party, you have to respect that." And by respect, she means an endless flow of pinot grigio into Ramona's glass.
So let's see ... if Ramona is on the top and Cindy is on the bottom of this so-called pecking order, where do the rest of them fall? I have no idea how Sonja would rank them, but since pecking orders are so much fun, let's rank the housewives according to craziness, shall we? The order is certainly bound to shift and change a bit throughout the season, but we can make a pretty good call based on what we know so far. Starting with the craziest N.Y. housewife ...
# 1 -- Sonja Morgan. At first she seemed so sane and fun, kind of like the new, older, blonde Bethenny Frankel. Only she's not. She's bizarre, mean, pretentious, and seemingly drunk all the time. When she posed for the firemen's calendar in pigtails and nude pantyhose, it was craziness on parade. I will give her points for her impersonation of Ramona in the opening scene though-- it was spot on.
#2 -- Ramona Singer. I don't know if it's too much pinot grigio or just her, but Ramona is random and a little scary at times (like last week at the birthday party when she tried to attack Cindy's brother). Her obsession with ALWAYS having pinot grigio is a little concerning too. The Real Housewives of Rehab, perhaps?
#3 -- Jill Zarin. Oh she's back from Australia and making amends by burning past grievances with Alex McCord, but she's still weaseley and can't be trusted. I'm confident she'll soon move up the crazy pecking order.
#4 -- Alex McCord. She's come a long way, and she's become more endearing than ever this season. Then there was that scene in which she and Simon gave their son Francois a piano for his birthday, and I remembered how odd she is again at heart. "This must be a magical moment," she said to Francois, who was clearly unimpressed by the whole thing and wigged out that a strange man was in his home playing it.
#5 -- Cindy Barshop. For the most part, she seems pretty normal, although she did lie to Sonja about the whole Kelly/Ramona incident, and she was acting bizarre at that confrontation dinner with Ramona. Not that Ramona was much better, but Cindy really wasn't making much sense.
#6 -- LuAnn de Lesseps. The Countess isn't really crazy, she's just annoying and condescending.
#7 -- Kelly Bensimon. Oh how quickly things change -- the first shall be last and the last shall be first; and all that good stuff. Kelly, who appeared in need of institutionalization last season, has emerged as the voice of reason. She's calm, in control, and even making sense ... most of the time.
What do you think of this pecking order of crazy -- agree or disagree? What do you think of Sonja Morgan's pecking order?
Image via bravotv.com