Poor Peggy Tanous. All she wanted was to impress people with a celebrity chef, wow guests with her beautiful home, and allow them to enjoy the vocal stylings of "literally the next Sade." Instead she and husband, Micah, got a good ol' fashioned mean girls high school party, complete with a slam book (kidding) and girls crying in the bathroom (really).
The party started off with Tamra and Eddie slow dancing. Like, really slow dancing. Like, "we're the only people here slow dancing and we're gonna make out in front of everyone to show you all how hot we are for each other" slow dancing. We get it, Tamra, you guys are in love. Congratulations. I believe you are actually the first woman in history this has ever happened to. Then there was Alexis ...
Oh, Alexis. Jesus Barbie (which, also, if you watched Watch What Happens Live, you know that she plans on coming out with an eponymous lip gloss -- classy) showed up to the dinner party sans Jim. And unlike her Alexis Couture line, it was not pretty. Also, it didn't make any sense.
First, Alexis told everyone that Jim couldn't make the Saturday night soiree because he had a "business meeting." Then, the gay Jim stand-in she brought said Jim wasn't there for another reason. Then, we hear Alexis tell Gretchen that the real reason Jim wasn't there was because he "didn't want to be around those people."
Okay, fine. That sounds reasonable. Except for the fact that it seems like a lie. Clearly, Alexis and Jim are having problems if she was that upset about being without him for three hours. And if it's not -- and she really needs to lock herself in a bathroom to hyperventilate when she's alone -- well, maybe she should see a therapist.
Of course while Gretchen and Alexis were in the bathroom talking, Tamra put her ear to the door to eavesdrop while Vicki waited in the wings. At that point, I think there were maybe five people total sitting at the table that Peggy generously paid someone to beautifully decorate. Not cool, guys, not cool.
Gretchen actually went to the shindig solo, as well. However, she was able to conduct herself like a normal human being without Slade -- who was "with his kids." I think I'm going to have to agree with Vicki here and call his absence a "coinkydink" since the dinner party fell on the same day news about his lack of paying child-support broke.
Lastly -- and certainly least-ly -- there was Donn Gunvalson. The sweet, I'm-just-trying-to-have-a-good-time guy finally grew a pair of balls last night and told Vicki that not only was she full of herself, she was a bitch. Donn!
The episode concluded by switching back and forth between two uncomfortable scenes. One, where Alexis and Gretchen danced at the party with their gay buddies. (This was weird because Alexis was suddenly hyper and manic, as if she hadn't spent the entire party locked in the water closet bawling her eyes out.) The other where Vicki, Donn, Tamra, and Eddie drove home. Basically, Donn, Tamra, and Eddie are yucking it up, having a good time, while Vicki sits there, staring at Donn, seething like Judy Dench in Notes on a Scandal.
I would not want to be Donn after Tamra and Eddie got out of that car.
What did you think of Alexis's behavior without Jim? How do you feel about Donn and Vicki?
Image via Bravo